On August 5th, at age 35, I fulfilled a lifelong dream of publishing a novel.
After decades of studying and practicing my craft, and 3 years of drafting, revising, and going through the self-publishing process for my debut contemporary romance Reality With You, I’m squeezing every bit of joy I can from finally being able to say that. It feels so good.
Obviously, 35 is not old. I don’t love the implications of the word “old” for any age, but society never misses an opportunity to hammer in the idea that you should have your life together by 25, especially your career. That pressure of “falling behind” is one more bullshit layer of conditioning to overcome in the pursuit of a dream.
This is a theme in Reality With You — the female protagonist, Lennon, is a 25-year-old aspiring musician, and she loses her first and only record deal in chapter one. She has no other prospects, and she’s watching those around her advance in their careers while she remains stalled on the side of the road. It’s a feeling I know intimately, having watched fellow writers in my circle publish their books over the years while I struggled to finish mine.
I used to beat myself up for being a “slow” writer. Even after overcoming my creative anxiety that held me back in my 20s and refining my writing process to move through drafts faster, I’m still considered slow if you compare it to the writers publishing multiple novels a year. But this is the time it took for me to develop my craft and cultivate the life experience I needed to produce the stories I want to tell.
Speed is not a metric of talent or quality of work. Stephen King has published 63 novels (so far), while J.R.R. Tolkien published 12 in his career. Both are considered legends in the industry. Different artists have different styles — and different paths. It’s not a competition.
I’ve given myself permission to move at my own pace. I’m creating the art I want to create and letting each project take the time it needs. I’m allowing my timeline to unfold the way it’s meant to.
Exactly one year and a day before publishing Reality With You, I posted an update about nearing the end of my third draft revisions. I encountered a few problems toward the end of that draft, and then again after the beta readers read the next draft (draft 4), when I realized something still didn’t feel right. There was a moment I panicked, wondering if the book was broken. It took me a while to diagnose the issue and then spend a few more weeks fixing it.
That wasn’t where the problems ended, lol. I had to change my pen name after I’d already done the cover reveal, which meant I also had to change my website, which I’d spent almost a decade establishing. I had to abandon the Instagram I’d been building for just as long because I ran into an issue with changing the username, so I had to start over with a new one (sacrificing thousands of followers).
My cover designer fell through at the last minute. I had issues with one of the professionals I hired during the final stages of production, which set me behind schedule and created additional work for myself and another professional I had hired. Then, after publishing, there were more disappointments, like my first event/book signing (and a sale of 30 copies of my book) falling through because the event was cancelled.
None of this has been easy, and when I wanted to give up, I pushed harder instead. You’re stronger than you think. When it feels like the odds are stacked against you and getting to the finish line is impossible—especially when it feels impossible—keep going.
On the same day I was supposed to sign with other authors at that cancelled event, I ended up dropping off signed copies of my book to be stocked at my favorite romance-only bookstore, The New Romantics in Orlando, Florida. It’s been a little over a week since I dropped off three copies, and now they have only one left at the time of publishing this post. (You can order it on their website and they’ll ship it if you aren’t in the Central Florida area!)
In September, I set a target to manifest 50,000 page reads on KU (around 100 books) and 100 ebooks or paperbacks sold by the end of the month. I purposely set it high enough to push me out of my comfort zone and motivate me to buckle down on my marketing efforts without it feeling totally unreachable. It’s just beyond my comfort zone to make me feel inspired but not overwhelmed.
While I didn’t hit that specific target, in the last two months, I did:
Gain almost 200 new subscribers on Substack and hundreds of new followers across other platforms (which has led to me connecting with so many cool writers, readers, and publishing professionals)
Hear back from multiple indie bookstores that plan to stock my book
Receive several 4- and 5-star reviews ⭐️
Get more comfortable with regularly promoting myself (it’s been uncomfyyyy for this introvert in the beginning 🥲)
Setting a big target like that isn’t about proving something or seeking validation. It’s giving me something tangible to focus on that pushes me past my fear and comfort zone.
It also keeps my mindset expansive and focused on possibilities rather than struggles and limitations.
“I dwell in possibility…” ― Emily Dickinson
I wrote Reality With You hoping the right readers will feel seen by it the way other books have made me feel seen — that it will come into their lives at a time when they need it most. I owe it to them as much as I owe it to myself to give it its best chance of being found.
✨ I’m hoping to manifest 100 copies (ebook or paperback) sold and 50,000 page reads (about another 100 books read through KU) by the end of November, my birthday month. ✨🎂
I wanted to publish my debut novel before my 36th birthday, and visualizing myself celebrating being a published author fueled me to keep going through all the fears and rough patches. Now, I want to give this book its best chance at succeeding, so I’m setting these goals to help motivate me through the discomfort of increasing my promotion efforts. It would be amazing to celebrate reaching a special milestone in readership by my birthday. And if I don’t hit it? I’ll keep trying until I do. 😅
✨ If you’d like to help me get there, here are some ways you can show your support (they also apply to any indie author you’d like to support!):
Follow, like, comment, share, and/or repost any of my Instagram, Threads, and/or TikTok posts about Reality With You to give my content a boost in the algorithm
If you’ve read the book and enjoyed it, please leave a review (even just a few words like “I couldn’t put it down!” makes a huge difference—seriously)
Request it at your local bookstores (they usually have submission forms on their websites, or you can ask them directly via email, DM, or in person)
To purchase the book, here’s where to find it:
Amazon (Kindle Unlimited, Kindle ebook, and paperback)
Bookshop.org (click on “Choose a Bookstore” and select one of your local independent bookstores, then search for Reality With You L.E. McQuinn, and they will get a commission for the sale!)
See the full list of independent bookstores and international retailers that stock it on my website
If you’re an indie bookseller and are interested in stocking signed copies of my book via direct sales instead of Ingram, please reach out to me via hello@lemcquinn.com.
I’m deeply grateful. Every reader is a big deal to me. You’re all a blessing and a dream come true.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
xx L.E.
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