We Hate Marketing... Or Do We?

I keep coming back to this question:

Why on earth are follow-ups so hard for me?

I’ve received coaching about it and counseling, lol.

I probably have followup hang-ups from all sorts of things in my past, but you do not need the whole backstory.

What I think finally helped was not another explanation.

It was following up with people, noticing where I froze, and then sitting with what was actually happening.

And I think I am very comfortable teaching something I know.

I like answering questions. I like researching when I do not know the answer yet. I like making things for people. Especially memes. I could make memes for hours.

Here’s looking at you METs competition from 2024.

Anyway, I like connecting ideas. I can write the post, make the video, share the resource, explain the concept, make tons of memes around the concept or disappear happily into a rabbit hole for three weeks and not talk to anyone (unless they are family or my clients, lol)

I am very comfortable saying:

Here’s something useful I made.

That part feels generous.

It feels safe.

It feels like me.

The harder movement is looking at an actual person and saying:

Here’s how I can help you apply it.

That is where marketing can start feeling cringe.

And sending the payment link, forget it.

We are no longer simply educating someone from a comfortable distance.

We are saying:

I see what you are working through.
I think I may be able to help.
Here is a way we could work on it together.

That feels much more vulnerable.

And then there is the even sneakier question.

What if they say yes?

Because rejection is uncomfortable, obviously.

But yes has consequences too.

If somebody pays us, the thing becomes real.

We have to show up.

We have to make room in the calendar.

We may need more capacity. We might risk overgiving. We might over build.

We may have to deliver the thing we have been thinking about, tinkering with, or talking about for months.

Sometimes a payment link is not just a payment link.

Sometimes it feels like commitment, responsibility, visibility, and a tiny identity crisis sitting inside one innocent-looking URL.

In a recent Offer Lab conversation, Dr. Angie and I ended up right in the middle of this. She already had people who had expressed interest. The payment link existed. The harder part was sending it, because sending it meant stepping into the work for real.

And I recognized a lot of myself in that. More on that later in the post.

There are parts of marketing that are easier for me.

Teaching.

Posting clips.

Podcasting.

Writing.

Sharing thoughtful ideas.

Making something useful and putting it into the world.

All of those things matter.

But I am starting to see how easy it is to stay there forever.

In an excellent article, Scott Perry talks about the difference between marketing and sales and also Exposure, Proximity, and Access.1

Exposure is where people discover us.

Proximity is where trust starts to build through closer interaction and conversation.

Access is where we actually show people how to work with us.

And I think I have spent a lot of time getting very good at Exposure.

Meanwhile, someone can be standing on the other side of the bridge thinking:

Okay. I like this.
Now what?

That is the part I have been working on.

Not posting to the void on social media, not tweaking my funnel or website, not creating 5 substack posts (even though Substack is pretty cool), just getting better at helping someone see the best next step.