Fun During Wartime

So, the self-promotion first.

I am traveling to America next week, and I am taking my feature Gut Instinct with me to two of my stops.

First, I’ll screen in Shapeshifters Cinema in Oakland, CA on Tuesday, July 8. This is the North American/Northern Hemisphere/International premiere of Gut Instinct, and - I only realised today - the first time I’ll have been present for a screening of one of my features in the US! Musical contributor Kyle Bruckmann will also be playing an opening set, I’ll have a bespoke preshow, there will be a Q&A, and, as always, it will be interactive. And friends from all over the Bay Area will be there. Fun stuff!

Nearly a month later, I’ll end my trip at Clinton Street Theater in Portland, OR on Monday, August 4. I’m very sentimental about this one, not just because my time there shaped me deeply and some of my best friends live there, but because my knowledge of the existence of industrial films dates back to my Portland days, when the legendary (no hyperbole) Dennis Nyback ran the Clinton and would run programmes of weird and wonderful items from his archive, like the classic “Death Zones” (which I encourage you to enjoy with a crowd, if possible, the way I experienced it and have shared it with people).

If you can make it to either, I’d love to see you; if you know anyone in those areas who might enjoy Gut Instinct, please let them know!

Plus: our not-quite-soundtrack is now available for pre-order! The story is that Jason Wach made beautiful fragments of music for the film that Kyle Bruckmann remixed into “Portable Resonance Amplifiers”, so those of you that know the music will find it both familiar and different. And between them are the “Audio-Geometric Cleanses” as created for the film. It was a fun project, and I think it turned out to be a really good listen!

I hope you enjoy. Interself thanks you for your support.

I explored more screenings in more locations, but this trip wasn’t really about touring my film. It was about connecting with family first, then friends, while trying to balance all the chances for joy with - well, the weirdness of going to a country that is really clearly fundamentally not all right on a lot of levels, at both a much deeper and a much more superficially obvious level then, well, my entire life. I’ve been traveling home since 2004, and Kiwis always have random anxieties about safety in America (particularly around the chances of mass shootings), but this is the first time that people are asking me about carrying a burner phone or urging me to log out of my e-mail. And I’m a citizen!

Balancing the political and the personal, or even pretending they’re separate, is tricky. I have been (implicitly, not directly) hectored recently on social media about not commenting or interacting more on this issue or that, none of which I wish to diminish. But I’m under no illusions that I can fix them, and the more I descend into worry and anger about that, the less of myself is available for the people in my life who I can tangibly help on a day to day basis.

I am of course happy to engage in discussion - not debate, an important distinction - in person on these and other issues. I’m happy to share my viewpoint, hear other people’s, and learn and grow. But online debate isn’t about that - it’s about missionary zeal, oversimplifying, sharing information before it’s proven accurate, and dehumanising your opponents. None of which I prefer to do, even if I have succumbed far too many times to all of these. (Like basically every time I try to comprehend why people who are left-leaning still support Spotify.)

Mostly I just want to spend time with the people I love, unencumbered, in my home country, where they live and cannot relocate from with ease.

And then I have stray thoughts, like: I don’t know if we can find out who it was, but there was certainly a final tourist to Nazi Germany.

This isn’t a cohesive set of thoughts. These aren’t cohesive times. These are, frankly, kind of awful times.

But the experience of joy is what keeps us going. It’s important.

See you soon, Ameri-friends (in selected catchments), and see you when I return, Kiwi friends.

Now listening: BØLZER (extreme metal duo coming to NZ in August)

Now watching: Diary of a Junior Doctor on TVNZ. A good follow-up to and corrective for The Pitt - which I *loved*, but this semi-observational series following five young doctors is factual TV at its best. (And if we’re talking New Zealand TV, then I should plug the psychedelic therapy doco Mind Menders, which I spent the last six months working on. An eye-opening experience. Available on Neon or SkyGo, an obscure free service, linked above. International people could probably get crafty with a VPN if they’re curious.)

Now reading: Craig Baldwin, AVANT TO LIVE! My film would not exist without his Tribulation 99, and this book celebrates his entire existence in loving detail.