i feel better when im creating :3...
a little more than a year into my transition, i started thinking about what would come next in terms of my life and identity. at the time i was fully reveling in my new self and it felt amazing to explore my transness. with that said, i also knew i didnt want to be transitioning forever. i didnt want to stagnate like i had done for so many years previously. so i filed those thoughts away because i…
i used to spend a lot of time alone. like, a lot. i preferred it to being around people most of the time. it felt comfortable and safe to be by myself playing video games. i valued my connections with others, but they also felt like connections to the outside world and feeling connected to the outside world was stressful. my favorite part of the day was almost always marked by time alone. time to…
ive been voice training for about a year and im still working on it, but ive achieved a voice that im happy with and that gets me gendered correctly irl, online, and on the phone!!! this isnt a guide, but tips that i think dont get talked about enough. first, a list, then the explanation. SO LETS GO!!!! identify the kind of voice you want take a look at anatomy learn what it feels like to make…
personal development has always been important to me. ive always wanted to be better today than i was yesterday. that doesnt mean im better than anyone, it was just the only thing i felt i had any control over in my life for many years. at the time, i thought that it would be enough to work on little things and that eventually the big things would solve themselves. unfortunately, it wasnt quite…
i always disliked my birth name. i felt that it didnt fit me (go figure) and i went by other names when i could, such as with online friends when i was a teen. i had a long first name, so it was always shortened and i preferred it that way up until maybe a year before i transitioned. i started warming up to it in a radical acceptance kind of way. like, yeah my name is long and maybe its annoying…
transitioning is a really cool, amazing, rad process, but its also a lot to navigate. especially as it relates to the past. the photo library on my phone goes back until about December of 2020, so there are photos of me pre trans. side note, i have barely any pictures of myself pre trans, but post trans i have SO many. its almost like i like myself now or something. ANYWAY. so when i see old…
pin my paws to an old board (a rare subject deserves respect) relish your first vivisection (such sickly sweet anticipation) only the cruelest instruments (you might never get another chance) your false hesitation would fool anyone the first cut is tender the second is wet saliva dripping into my ruined body gaping eye sockets imprison my soul plunge your claws into my womb impregnate me with your…
i recently read puppy's the appeal of lowercase text and wanted to share my own perspective. i also use predominantly lowercase text, but i never considered the aesthetic implications. after chewing on it for a bit, i think capitalized, punctuated, and formatted text more aesthetically pleasing, but lowercase text is more functionally pleasing and feels more relatable. in short, the former is good…
she used to live in a box long dark hair in a pony black tanktop plastered to her skin hunched over a coffin of light and sound unseen face reflection unknowable threads of fantasy stitched with despair imbalances align what was false becomes true grief felt for lost time old eyes take on a new hue i looked behind me and saw him watching he smiled when he saw my face i wasnt a monster but he wasnt…
in my about page, i expressed my desire to create a space for myself to share my writing, but that's not the whole story. i was inspired by a friend i recently met named puppy. she shared some of her favorite posts from her blog and they made me feel some big feelings to say the least. that is to say, i felt seen. those big feelings got me thinking about something i've struggled with since i…