what bà nội taught me about community wealth

if you know anything about vietnamese culture, you know we live for coffee and folx meet up in coffee shops morning to night, multiple times a day.

when i was last there 8 years ago, a brand new coffee shop had just opened on the corner of a large intersection by my bà nội’s house. shiny new tiles, state of the art sound system for karaoke, and wooden furniture decorate the space. my cousins and i walked there nearly every day.

one day as i was getting ready to head out, bà nội asked where i was going. when i told her to the new corner coffee shop again, she reminded me to visit others too, don’t just patronize the same place every time. there’s a humble spot of an old auntie’s, plastic tables on bare ground in front of their home that’s been serving neighbors for decades behind the house, her husband recently fell sick. it’s important to circulate the wealth to as much of the community as we can, that’s how we support each other.

is it any wonder this woman had over 1,000 people show up at her funeral service? people overflowing onto her street for days. her impact inspires me.

years later, back in the states, i noticed something about how “communities” form here. people are so disconnected from their neighbors but crave the recognition of going to a place where everyone knows their name. we ritualize becoming “regulars” at our chosen places for that sense of community and frequent the same network of businesses for the services we need.

but that’s exactly what it is, a network, hoarding the same dollars for those we deem deserving of being part of our specific “in” group for patronage. one tailor, one car detailer, one dry cleaner, one chosen vendor to meet our particular needs. we walk in, they recognize our faces, they know our names. it feels good.

but a thriving community is more than a familiar closed-loop transactional network. it flows support to multiple providers for the same service. it’s circulating our money to florist sue this week to help with her daughter’s sports equipment. then buying flowers from kate the next week for her mom’s insulin. because community isn’t defined by the services that are rendered by a familiar face, but by the people behind the service and how we can support their existence.