Hi friends, welcome back to Take Your Time. Today’s letter is a special one because it’s in collaboration with someone who has profoundly shaped how I think about beauty, taste, and building a brand over the last 13 years: Cassandra Grey.
*Ps. Jump below the Guy Bourdin hair image for when Cassandra enters the chat*
For those of you joining from Cassandra Grey’s Please Note, you already know this queen. But for my Take Your Timers who are new to the world of VIOLET GREY, MADAME GREY, and the madame herself, prepare for a masterclass in building a beautiful life around what truly matters.
Cassandra recently joined me in the Take Your Time studio, and when I tell you it felt like a collective cortisol drop and therapy session, I mean it. We all walked out of that conversation on a different frequency.
That’s entirely her magic.
A little backstory, but VIOLET GREY is and has been my holy grail for beauty since it launched in 2013. The world Cassandra created was the first place I experienced this level of glamour and quality translated to the internet fluently. Of course they had the perfect gem of a store on Melrose Place, but her eye for image-making and curation on the internet as well has been a north star for an entire generation of creatives in the beauty space (and beyond).
All beauty founders know that having your products approved by The Violet Code will always be the thing. Full stop.
Over the last few years, I've had the privilege of getting to know Cassandra as a friend, and she's even more extraordinary in real life. She has an unmistakable presence. You can feel the legacy she's building in the way she moves through the world, the decisions she makes, and the people and objects she gathers around her.
If you ever wondered how Cassandra built her world from the ground up, this conversation is for you.
We talk about everything from her growing up in a teepee outside San Francisco to moving to New York, building a life with her late husband, Brad Grey, and the lessons she still carries from their time together. We also dive into her fragrance house, Madame Grey, why she bought the URL nearly a decade before launching it (an epic move !!), and what it means to build something that lasts.
She is all caps GLAMOUR with the right dose of grit in human form. What I admire most about her is the intention behind it all. She reminds me that beauty isn't superficial. It's a way of honoring ourselves, our spaces, and the lives we're creating. I have endless respect for people who choose quality over speed, who make things with care, and who remind us that we deserve to surround ourselves with beauty.
As you watch and listen to our conversation, you’ll learn that this is a story about building our worlds from the things we had around us, and how those limitations can help form your taste and identity. It’s a nice reminder for those just starting to build: in a world of excess, limitations can be style if you make them so. That tin foil can be the material for the first accessory you’ll ever make, and that inside all of us is the ability to channel Wonder Woman, Diana Prince, herself.
Take care, and take your time, always,
Dianna + Cassandra
And now…I wouldn’t interview the woman behind The Industry’s Beauty Edit without finding out what beauty products she’s most excited about right now. Before she enters the Chat, here are Three Things I Love from her edit and a Haircare Tip
From our original Crown Affair x VIOLET GREY collaboration: our Tiger’s Eye comb handmade in Switzerland. Ps. This is the OG inspiration behind our most recent clips.
When you wear this, people won’t stop thinking about you.
This is 11/10 for a simplified but effective eye wardrobe.
A Haircare Tip: Perfume Your Hair (it’ll last longer)
I’m obsessed with the science of how fragrance lives in hair compared to skin. Hair fibers hold onto scent much longer, which is why I’m so particular about the fragrance experience at Crown Affair. When you’re layering products over the course of a few days—hello Dry Shampoo, Overnight Repair Serum, The Leave-In—the scent has to evolve beautifully over time.
When I’m in the mood for something a little sexier and I want to channel the femme fatale aura, I reach for MADAME GREY POUR CHEVEUX. This limited-edition, weightless hair perfume takes me to a different world and adds the most gorgeous shine to the hair. Sign me up.
Oh hey, Take Your Timers.
When I first heard about Dianna and her desire to be stocked at VIOLET GREY, I didn’t want to like her.
I know it isn’t exactly chic to admit that about another person audacious enough to start a company, but it’s the truth. She came along at a time when it felt as though every Harvard Business School grad, millennial twat or nouveau famous person was pitching me their billion-dollar beauty empire, cosplaying Gwyneth, Jessica Alba, Emma Grede, Rihanna, Sophia Amoruso, Emily Weiss or Katherine Power. They’d sit across from me talking about their projected CAC to LTV ratio, saying things like, “I’m building the next Glossier, but, like, not pink.”
I used to say to my team all the time, “This is either a rocket ship or a sinking ship, depending on the day. If you’re with me on the sinking-ship days, I’ll give you the dinghy before I let you sink, and I’ll respect and support you forever” I suppose that was my version of ride or die.
I must have learned about Dianna and Crown Affair on a sinking-ship day.
I think she had one comb and a hair oil, and I remember thinking, Oh, another wide-eyed know-it-all who thinks she has what it takes to go to war…..that is, the life of a start-up entrepreneur.
Boy, did I feel like a cunt when I realized Dianna wasn’t cosplaying at all.
She possessed, in spades, what all the entrepreneurs I most admire have: vision, audacity and grit. She was ambitious, yet never entitled. Confident, yet studious and intellectually humble. She knew exactly what she wanted to build, and she knew exactly who she was building it for.
Crown Affair wasn’t built because she believed people desperately needed another shampoo. It was built because she believed the relationship people have with their hair could be better. And while it turns out people did need another shampoo—a better one, like this dry one or this scalp one —she has also changed the way we think about caring for our hair, turning it into an act of self-love with a touch of unapologetic I flip my hair back.
The world she’s says she’s taking her time to build is already iconic. Just six years after her first products were VIOLET CODE APPROVED, now I can’t count how many times pitch decks reference Crown Affair. One guy described his business plan as “the next Crown Affair, but, like, it’s going to crush on TikTok Shop.”
To which I say, “Um... I think Dianna and her team are building the next Crown Affair.”
Now, as I promised Dianna, here are the top five beauty products I can’t live without:
Crown Affair Dry Shampoo: I wash my hair every day. I know, I know—it’s not very pro. But I say that to make this point: I don’t use dry shampoo instead of washing my hair; I use it for styling, and I use it every single day with the Madame Grey Strip Tease Shine for effortlessly hot-girl hair he’ll bury his face in. If I forget it when I travel, I genuinely panic and buy another one from Sephora if there isn’t a VIOLET GREY nearby.
Hästens Mattress: The most important part of my beauty routine is sleep. And just as I can drive fast, I prefer to be driven. This isn’t a mattress; it’s a sleep instrument. Paired with my SLEEP OR DIE Sleep Strip, I cannot come to the phone right now—I am beauty-maxxing for the next seven to eight glorious hours. “I only love my bed and my mama, I’m sorry.” Please note: Drake sleeps on a Hästens mattress.
Madame Grey Parfum: It’s spray-on sex appeal. I don’t know what else to say. I spent over a decade and worked with three noses figuring it out. The girls out in these streets are addicted. I feel my baddest wearing expensive parfum and my boyfriend’s worn-in Knicks hat. No cap. Trust.
Fara Homidi Essential Bronzer Compact: I use the shades Lumen and Baie. I first apply Lumen for a natural, summering-at-Hôtel du Cap tan, then layer Baie on top for that slightly sunburned, just-finished-making-out flush. This duo is the best bronzer situation on the market, and I have tried them all.
MUTHA Lipstick: Sorry, it’s not out yet. It doesn’t launch until the autumn. It’s for the girls who don’t wear lipstick. It’s the perfect colour with a matte-but-hydrated texture. It feels like it was made for Brigitte Bardot’s character in Contempt. Hope, the founder of MUTHA, gave me a lab sample, and it’s almost gone because I need it every morning... and then again in the afternoon and again late at night.
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