I’m Choosing This Life

Because, if we are the ones designing the business (which is also, ahem, our “LIFE, DESIGNED”), the schedule, the income, the systems, the content, the offers, the relationships, the logistics, the meals, the errands, the appointments, and somehow also our own nervous system regulation…

This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn as an entrepreneur, and honestly, as a woman with ADHD: just because I can push through doesn’t mean I should.

ADHD note: I am not a medical professional, and these ADHD tips are not medical advice, just things I’ve learned along the way as someone with ADHD myself!

I take myself to coffee, breakfast, or lunch on random weekdays. If there’s a logical pocket of time, I don’t let it pass, I observe the opening and seize that moment to enjoy the weather and where I live accordingly.

ADHD tip: planning little treats as motivation to finish wildly boring (and therefore painful) tasks helps a lot! Even though I often make my own decaf espresso drinks at home, going to the Marin Country Mart for a cold brew and a donut after finishing a task I hate is a good aim for me.

I pay some lovely people to help keep my home clean every couple of weeks. This is a chore I don’t want to do, and they do it far better and more efficiently than I ever could. I’m grateful for their help and am so happy to pay them for it.

ADHD tip: If, like me, you tend to be messier than you wish you were, if you have any possible way of hiring folks to help you clean your home (or send your laundry out for washing), it’s a game-changer. It’s not just about having help with the task, it’s a forced deadline by which you must clean / straighten-up your messy stuff before someone can come in and clean your space.

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I don’t work for someone else or in an office where this might be frowned upon, so why the heck not?! If my body tells me it needs sleep, so be it. My bed is right down the hall 🤪

ADHD tip: pushing through exhaustion is almost always a fast-ticket to exhaustion-town. If you’re self-employed and working from home, don’t crush yourself when you can’t function properly. You’ve got to manage your energy, as that’s the key to then also having those wildly productive burst where you get done in one day (or just a few hours) what takes many others a week to accomplish!

“If you’re tired you take a nap-a, you don’t move to Napa!” - Carrie Bradshaw

Meet you for a quick coffee shop visit-and-work at 3:30 on a Monday? Yes.
Grocery shop together at 10am on a Tuesday? You bet.
Lunch at the farmer’s market on Thursday? See you there.

ADHD tip: Novelty is an exciting driver of dopamine, which can be very helpful for us. And, if you’re someone who does well with tasks when you body-double, this is a bonus perk. You can meet a friend to do something that’s part-fun-part-work. I absolutely love a coffee shop worky date for this!

I check my self-care boxes first, then I begin work. Get in my movement and a good meal, shower if the mood strikes, then get to work.

ADHD tip: Before you’re “out of spoons” for the day, get done something that will both make you mentally feel lucid and physically feel better and less anxious in your body. For me, that’s exercising with some intensity most days (not always an all-out effort, mind you). It’s a real bummer that this works so damned well, but it’s true.

"Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." - Elle Woods

I do some work before lunch and then after lunch/dog-break. If I need to do a few things after dinner, I do, but often that’s it. I focus as much as possible in those blocks but I don’t expect myself to work 6-8 hours without a break. It’s more like 2-3 / break for lunch / 3-4 / dinner and done.

ADHD tip: Expecting to work for 8 hours straight, even with an hour break and some bathroom breaks is wildly unrealistic. Perhaps there’s a day you get into intense focus and it happens, but planning for his type of workflow most days isn’t realistic. Figure out how you end up working most often naturally, then plan your days around that rather than trying to square-peg-round-hole yourself into a working schedule that works for others, but clearly isn’t how you operate!

xo,
Diane