From the vault: Hanging in there or just holding on

Originally written in 2025

My relationship with my art has always been a wild ride, a rollercoaster of high highs and low lows. The constant up and down has become second nature to me now, something that I know will either get easier with time or drive me to complete and utter madness.

I sometimes wonder if these cycles of loving and hating my art is because I’ve been too precious about it. If you eat, sleep, and breathe something, like I have for over two decades with my art, it can consume you. Swallow you up whole!

That can be fun at times — your girl loves a good hyperfixation — but also damaging to your relationship with that thing. That’s how I’ve begun to feel about non personal work.

Even as I write this, my mind still conjures up a gang of art directors, ready to rumble. They’re doing some kind of synchronized dance, singing, “She doesn’t want to work! This girl is bad news,” to the tune of What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Paranoid.

Then they give me a knuckle sandwich and black list me from the industry. But not saying it doesn’t make this feeling any less real or valid. I’ve worked on some amazing projects but alas, my candle has burned down to the wick.

Gone are the days of taking work with only my bills in mind. I have a great support system to fall back on if I need it so, rather than letting money or success be guiding forces, I’m carving my own path with my values, personal goals, and needs at the forefront.

I don’t have a grand plan for what putting myself first creatively looks like nor do I really need one. My brain is just relieved to get a break from its smoke-filled whirring. Now that I’ve put words to my jumbled lunchtime thoughts, here are three ways I’m putting myself first:

• Reclaiming mornings for myself. There’s nothing I love more than a slow morning with my sketchbook, the Too Scary; Didn’t Watch podcast, and a cup of iced coffee.

• Saying no to things I don’t want to do. As a recovering people pleaser, this is the hardest boundary I’ve ever had to set but it gets easier every time. No, no, no thank you!

• Spending less time on Instagram. My phone time has mostly gone to listening to podcasts and watching cooking vlogs since realizing how bad Instagram makes me feel about my art. It’s not all Instagram’s fault but now, I post a story or two then skedaddle. It’s been a nice change.

That’s all from me this week. Inquiring minds want to know: How are you feeling about your art or creative hobbies these days?

Until next time,

Jade