I said something to a client during one of our strategic advisory sessions that completely stopped her in her tracks. We were discussing fear - the fear that comes after you’ve left a “secure” corporate job to build something entirely independently, of your very own. And although she’s done great so far, she occasionally wonders if she was crazy to leave all the comfort behind. The comfort of a regular paycheck, the comfort of not having to think about price tags when she shopped. The comfort that came from knowing that, even on days when she was exhausted, she could show up at work and maybe put in 50% of her power and still get the same paycheck at the end of the week.
Now, the full responsibility is hers. Every decision feels personal because the business is personal.
During our chat I looked at her and said in all seriousness, “No one is coming to save you.” [And yes, I learned that straight from Mel Robbins and her coaching program I’d taken a few years back.]
She immediately shifted in her chair and said, “Ummm, Holly, that makes me feel more anxious.”
I smiled because I knew exactly what she meant.
“It isn’t meant to scare you,” I told her. “It’s meant to set you free.”
She smiled and then I explained what I’m about to tell you now…
Many of us carry around this belief that someone will arrive and make everything easier. Maybe we’ll marry a successful partner, or that ideal publisher will finally discover us. Maybe the perfect investor will appear, or an Instagram post will go viral. Perhaps a dream client will knock on our door, or when our husband announces he’s leaving us - well - at least we go back home and sleep in the guest room as our mom cooks our favorite comfort food. Right? Or?
But what if no one does come? What then? What if your parents have passed away, you aren’t married, or no one cares about your Instagram posts.
At first, that sounds discouraging.
It sounds lonely.
I know!
But I believe it’s one of the most empowering realizations for an entrepreneur, or anyone, can have in life because the moment you stop waiting to be rescued is the very moment that you begin taking complete ownership of your life.
You stop hoping someone else will create your momentum, validate your ideas, or give you permission to get started.
You realize that the person you’ve been waiting for has been there all along. It’s YOU.
To help her see what I meant, I asked her to imagine being on a boat with a bunch of other people, on the ocean - maybe 2 miles from land when suddenly, the boat begins to sink. Everyone has to jump out and swim for shore.
Do you want to spend your energy looking for someone stronger than you to save you, or would you rather know that you’re a capable swimmer? Wouldn’t you rather trust your own strength, your own ability to stay calm, keep moving, and eventually reach safety?
That’s exactly what building (and maintaining) a business feels like.
Sure, we need other people - mentors, advisors, friends, clients, and people who believe in us. We sometimes need a loan from the bank or at the very least, overdraft on our bank account. None of us succeeds entirely alone without any support. But, the thing is, no one can swim for you. No one can make the difficult decisions that you need to make. No one can overcome your fears, build your confidence, or take the risks that you need to take in order for your dreams to see the light of day.
That’s where freedom begins.
Also realize this: If no one is coming to save you, then no one is standing in your way.
You don’t have some invisible gatekeeper holding the key to your future or some permission slip to wait for. There’s only the next decision, the next small step, the next brave action that moves you forward, and those are all up to YOU.
When my client left our session that day, she didn’t leave feeling abandoned or alone - in fact, she left feeling stronger. The anxiety she’d been carrying had shifted into responsibility. She realized she had been waiting for a rescue that was never necessary in the first place because she already had everything she needed to begin building the business she wanted. The only thing left was to trust herself enough to keep swimming for shore - to stay calm, focused, and moving forward.
I’ll end this Life Lesson by saying this: Stop unconsciously believing someone else is responsible for making your dreams come true. There’s something deeply liberating about becoming someone capable instead of hoping someone else is.
Love,
Holly
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