All Chic Girls Cry On Their Birthdays

Today is my birthday which usually begets a sense of unshakable melancholy for me. It’s very un-Leo of me but I prefer to celebrate as quietly as possible. It’s all just a lot of PRESSURE and I feel it very acutely. After my Golden Birthday for which I had a party at the Boom Boom Room, (yuck, I hate to call it The Top of The Standard or whatever the fuck they say now) all other birthdays paled in comparison and, in fact, began to go downhill. I have cried on every single birthday for the last 10 years. YIKES. But don’t feel too sorry for me. I have also had plenty of wonderful birthdays, it just seems that something since 28 has been a bit out of alignment. Perhaps I should go for Reiki today.

Anyways, today I have already had my cry but I still am going to enjoy my day. That’s code for: I am going to take an edible and watch The Princess Diaries. Ryan picked today of all days, to start his cycle so he has been terrorizing the household. Girls in relationships, iykyk. I swear men feel the full moon more than us and his Cancer moon ass is so out of control. There can only be one diva down per household, not two.

Before my edible activates, let’s recap the last two weeks. We’ve had an extremely eventful July so far.

I was on THE NEWS (!!!) with the organization that I volunteer with, Next Door. They asked me to participate in an old-school telethon fundraiser. I also did a little interview which I don’t have any footage of, but I will try to find it because my parents would love to see. When they first asked me to answer phones, I was so confused because I was not aware that people still did telethons. The last one that I can remember was for Hurricane Katrina and that did not go so save for the million memes that it birthed. That was 21 years ago! I am sure there have been telethons since then but I am more the goFundme link type. As it turns out, telethons still work. We got so many calls during the 2.5 hours that I was on duty, one from someone pledging $5,000! I also took a call from jail. They warned us that that might happen and I was the lucky recipient. Aside from that call, it was so cool to be able to talk to real people from all over Wisconsin and I just thought it was beautiful how generous they were and how invested they became after hearing about Next Door’s mission. I often think that I have nothing in common with a lot of the people here until I am reminded that I actually do. WE Energies, which is the energy supplier here, offered to match donations if we raised $10,000 and at the beginning of my shift, I wasn’t sure that we were going to make it. By the end of the telethon, we had raised $39,000 and 2,500 books. I was blown away and I am so glad that I got to be a part of it. If you are looking to fundraise, maybe consider partnering with the local news and doing a telethon. You never know!

In other news, I competed in a horse show last weekend. This is something I swore that I would never do, especially when I started riding again about 8 years ago but after I found this new barn and started riding a new horse, I just couldn’t say no. It was such a unique challenge to do the show and when I say challenge, I mean that I was told to show up for the 4 pm classes and everyone else participating had already been there all day studying the course. I went in totally blind. I messed up my first run but by our third go, I had it. We came in 4th place and I didn’t get a ribbon but I am so proud of myself for doing it at all! It is super scary. There are so many eyes on you! The entire show was Christmas in July themed since it took place on the 25th which was a cute touch and I have to say, doing this in Wisconsin dispelled all of the fears that I had about competition. It was all women and everyone was so nice and complimentary. They all said “nice ride” no matter what happened. It’s just not like that in New York/Connecticut at all. This was another 10 points for Wisconsin in my book. The girlies here can’t dress for shit but they are some of the kindest people and that is genuinely inspirational.

We’ve been going to a lot of estate sales recently. It must be the season. First of all, I love estate sales because I am nosy. I love to see inside people’s homes. It is so intimate and allows you to really see a side of people that you normally wouldn’t. People here are not as open to hosting as they were in New Orleans. My New Orleans friends lived to host. They also loved to nest. Perhaps this is a southern thing. Here, I feel that people are more protective of their home spaces, secretive even, which makes my appetite even bigger for peeking behind the curtain. We cleaned up at one sale in Fox Point and then went back for the discount day the next week. That same day, we also went to a sale in Whitefish Bay on Lake Drive. The stuff? Hideous. The view? Incredible. Soon my own home will be ready and then I can have a housewarming party! I actually love to have people over so I can’t wait.

The weather has been all over the place here in Wisconsin. For a few days, the air quality was so bad, you couldn’t go outside. And then, yesterday, the storms caused tornados in different parts of the state. I got caught on the highway in a storm and it got pretty scary. I was on my way to the barn but by the time I got there, the rain had subsided. I still rode inside though but as we were wrapping up, the storms returned and my horse was spooked AF. In Milwaukee, we got off relatively easy. I’m really sorry for everyone that experienced those storms yesterday and I’m sorry for us all in general about the way that climate change is altering how we live and enjoy summer. The temperature is barely 70 degrees today which to me, is NOT, summer but, at least it’s clear skies. I spent Sunday reading at my favorite beach in Milwaukee, AtWater. It was not a particularly clear day, or “nice” but given the choice between not being at the lake that looks like an ocean, and enduring some haziness, I will take what I can get I suppose. It is more important than ever to just enjoy what we have while we have it, and if nothing else, living through the weather patterns here has taught me that.

Now, we are running out of time before this edible gets to work so let’s get to recommendations.

Highly Recommend:

Horse Sport Shorts For Summer: I am biased because my bestie makes these, but the Horse Sport shorts are THEE shorts of the summer. They were totally sold out for the longest time, but ever since I got my hands on them, they are heavy in the rotation. I am talking: I wear them at least once a week, sometimes more. I am working on developing a more “signature” sense of style now that my weight has stabilized. I have been so many different sizes in the last few years so I haven’t felt any consistency in my wardrobe. Things that fit one week might not fit the next. I would just buy more and more stuff and would become confused about what I liked and what I didn’t. I cycled through things so fast just because I was trying to feel good. Now that I actually feel good, I don’t need to do that anymore. I haven’t shopped for a single piece of clothing all year. I am proud of that! I hope to become the kind of woman who buys 1-4 things a year and adds to a tight collection. These shorts are helping me so that, albeit in a casual way. I can’t recommend them enough. As I type this, I am also wearing my Horse Sport sweatshirt, which is such a sophisticated alternative to a hoodie if you ask me.

Lisa Rinna Is Obsessed with Bryce: Love Island remains to be a great cultural equalizer as it was intended to be. Since the Islanders have gotten back from Fiji things are certainly more quiet than they were the previous two seasons post-villa but I think that has a lot to do with Peacock’s gag order on the contestants. This is a real shame because I did like when the drama was getting spicy on the podcast circuit before the reunion but perhaps delayed gratification is good for us all. In the meantime, as the ex-Islanders begin to get their phones back and start posting again, we get to see whose fans are the most toxic. Spoiler: it is everyone now. Last season it was Huda’s fans but now…anyone can get this title. And leading the bunch in Bryce Alakai’s camp is none other than Lisa Rinna, who has commented multiple times on his videos to let him know that she believes he could be the son she never had with husband, Harry Hamlin. Honestly, Rinna is hilarious. I love to know that she is as chronically online as the rest of us but it is even more gratifying that she is thirsty enough to try to get the attention of someone that she could easily run into on the WWHL set or at NBC Upfronts. Long Live the Love Island press machine!

Sephora Is Selling Hair: I don’t know if you have heard but Sephora will be selling hair. This is major news for girlies who wear braids but don’t have access to a nearby beauty supply or even a car to get to one, aka me when I lived in New Orleans. Sephora, on the other hand, was walkable from my French Quarter apartment. I do order my braiding hair now from Amazon and try to keep a surplus in my house just in case but in case you might be in a pinch, this is a good thing! I love that access to Black hair products is becoming more mainstream. Sometimes a girl just wants to get her hair done at home and not have to do anything crazy to make that happen. I think some people will have feelings about this since there is a history of Black products getting co-opted. I am all for gatekeeping…but we deserve convenience as well. I also recently learned that you can get a hair appointment at Ulta and that it’s primarily Black stylists who work there. I had no idea this was an option which is super attractive to me because my hair people stay booked and busy. I would love the ability to pop in somewhere quickly without hassle and emerge from it looking beautiful and not having spent hundreds of dollars and hours of my time. It’s a yes from me.

Do NOT Recommend:

Tuskegee Dress Code Discourse: Deep, heavy, spiritual Negro sigh. I really don’t have skin in this game since I attended PWIs but the news this week is that Tuskegee University, a famed HBCU has recently introduced a student dress code which bans things like pajamas and bonnets from class. The idea was that this helps to better prepare students for the workforce where dress codes are a frequent element of life. On one hand, I see the intention. College is supposed to be the launchpad to adulthood so it doesn’t seem that crazy that they would want to enforce a dress code. Many institutions already have them. On the other hand, dress codes can often function as a tool of white supremacy and I wrote at length about this in my first book, Token Black Girl. There’s always a lot of pearl-clutching when it comes to older people dictating for younger people what is appropriate in dress. This weekend, I went to Brady Street Festival (not my choice) but being there was like an anthropological experience. It was the first truly integrated space that I had ever been in in Milwaukee with a pretty even split between Black and white attendees, both groups, looking pretty ratchet in equal measure which got me thinking. What does a typical class look like at Tufts or at NYU (where I went to school)? Surely, there will be a mix of fashion choices, potentially some pajamas but probably no bonnets since they are not often worn in mixed company. I just started wearing one on social media proudly but I would neverrrrr dare wear it outside of my house. This could be a byproduct of my age (as you are aware, I’m one year older today). I want young people to be free to wear what makes them comfortable but I do also get the impetus to impose respectability standards. Yet, we all know, pajama bottoms or not, that’s never going to save you from anything. For your own sanity, stay off of Twitter on this one.

The Popeyes Takeover of Surf Lodge Is So Dark: What a world. Popeyes has overtaken the Surf Lodge in Montauk as an official food sponsor. It is so bleak to see. In some of the most mismatched marketing in history, the fast food chain has set up shop in one of the Hamptons’ most famous hospitality destinations. This is absolutely a recession indicator. I know that the bag must have been HUGE and whomst am I to judge because I might do it too for a check. Lord knows I have probably done worse things. But I am someone who is judging because it’s just so ugly and so weird! I hate it. It’s also not good chicken. I was not allowed to have fast food growing up so there are many chains that I haven’t tried yet as an adult. When I worked at BET we did a story on the viral chicken sandwich and the Migos did some sort of collaboration if I remember correctly. This led to Popeyes being sent to the office and so I was able to try it for the first time circa 2018? It was awful!!! I have no idea how anyone eats it. I felt so sick all day. Maybe it is something you have to be conditioned to love from a young age (this is me with Cinnabon) and my weak stomach can’t take it or maybe it is something that will effectively soak up the alcohol that everyone at Surf Lodge is binge drinking or maybe they are confident that no one will eat it all all because everyone is on a glp-1 and not hungry. Whatever the reasoning, I do not recommend.

I will be back next week with more! If you would like to make my day, buy a copy of Token Black Girl or The Rules of Fortune. Otherwise, become a paid subscriber, thaht would be FAB! :) Anyone who gets a yearly during Leo season is going to get a signed book of their choice!

Thank you for reading!

xD