My dear friend,
I have missed you.
It would be impossible to live another day without first writing a letter to let you know I am thinking of you.
I hope my words find you well where you are…slightly older and maybe a little wiser.
As you can see from my drawing, I’ve been busy cutting a rug on a cloud with my dreams bubbles keeping me afloat. After decades of sticking my head into deep, bottomless rabbit-holes, I am enjoying the fresh air and view I have from up here.
A few months ago, when crazy things were happening on the world stage and all people could talk about were those crazy things, I made a choice to practice WIMBY.
I would narrow my caring and focus to only WHAT IS IN MY BACKYARD.
Let me tell you, it’s easier than you might think.
It’s not hard to not open an app when spring is springing and the beauty of baby birds and flower buds seduce me to feed them with my full attention. It’s easy to follow the pull of the senses when the sun is farther north than it has been in months, and when its breathtaking beauty and life-giving light finally break above the horizon after the loooooongest winter….reminding my skin how good warmth can feel.
When being and not-doing is the sought after treasure.
When existing inside becoming is becoming enough.
The fact of the matter is, when you begin to feel safe inside your own skin, things naturally fall quiet.
The mind can rest at last.
No longer looking for problems to fix or puzzles to solve, it takes its place beside the heart, entwined in resonance, unified in rhythm, pulsing with the power of presence.
For the first time in my life, my nervous system is not nervous- so much so that to call it one is a lie. A misnomer. After nearly five decades of guard duty, it has officially retired. It’s living life on a beach in a hammock, dreaming of what it wants to be now that I no longer need it to protect me from imaginary threats.
There is no ‘they’ when all you see is ‘we’.
All this is not to say that the goings-on ‘in my backyard’ have been without their challenges. Yet, with my focus firmly placed on my immediate environment, I’ve had more bandwidth to meet them resiliently, compassionately, and with all of the heart and mind of me. I’ve also gained deeper awareness of my more engrained, sneakier patterns, and attained greater levels of flexibility in how I think and act outside of my habitual box. I will be writing in more detail about this another time.
For today let it suffice to say that, like those baby robins, I’ve been growing my wings and using them to fly to heights that have granted me some fresh perspectives.
Different behaviour leads to different outcomes which lead to brand new adventures.
The road less travelled is immune to ruts.
This makes it a surface much friendlier to dancing.
Speaking of new adventures, I had the delight and pleasure of taking a wee trip to Texas in April to participate in the joyful gathering of amazing souls doing their very best to do no harm and live life to the fullest. I mostly lived the experience device-free but took enough footage to put together this lil vlog of the weekend.
I am eternally grateful to all who made such an event possible. It is a remarkable feeling to be sitting, walking, dancing amongst a crowd of kindred souls with whom you can be completely yourself.
I still have so much to catch you up on but I’d rather keep this letter short and sweet.
I will be following up very soon with art that I’m eager to share with you. I have been making a ton of music in Ableton, mostly loops to turn into songs, and have several written drafts-seeds of sprouting inside my dashboard folder….
….but before I go, I wish to circle you back to the beginning of my letter when I stated that I miss you.
It’s a true and honest statement, and yet somehow maybe defies logic.
How is it possible that can I miss someone I’ve never met in person?
Except for my visit with the magical and wise Susanne Lawson, and for those I met on my Post Post Podcast, I have only crossed paths with the digital version of the rest of you.
What has been made clear in my time away practicing WIMBY is that the community of kindred I’ve connected with on Substack nourish me like so few I meet in my day to day life outside of here. You have a permanent place in my heart because of the intimacy your words create, the openness of your sharing, the relatability of your vulnerability. Your presence in my life is meaningful because of the substance you show up with, continually. Your willingness to be thoughtful, to self-examine, to change your mind, to stand your ground, to make your art, to gracefully and unapologetically exist inside becoming inspires me to do the same.
The truth of what connects us transcends the physical.
All my love,
Jacqueline
💖
PS. When I poked my head into Substack a few days ago, this note posted by the inimitable Patrick Muindi was one of the first I saw, and was the final impetus I needed to dive back in to writing.
He said, “I miss the thoughts of those who no longer write.”
When I read it I thought, “I couldn’t possibly be one of those he misses, could I!?”
Truth be told, whether he was referring to me or not, his beautiful writing struck me to the core. How genuine is his interest and curiosity in the offerings of others. It’s clear he truly enjoys glimpsing into the minds & hearts of those who dare to share them.
I responded with a note of my own:
“After spending some months away and unplugged from platforms like Telegram and Substack, I’m catching up on what I’ve missed. And it’s your concise and deeply meaningful phrases of wisdom that are popping up most for me, Patrick.
I consider it my reward for returning. 🙂
As peaceful and pleasing to the senses life is outside the digital realm, there is an undeniable missing, too.
For over two years, Substack granted me access to many amazing hearts and minds I would never cross paths with in person…and it is a desire to resume the dance with those irreplaceable, invaluable kindred souls that’s bringing me back. 💖
This line of Patrick’s speaks to me the most loudly :
“….I hope you stay, for what you share, and for what can only be revealed by staying.”
A magical statement, if I’ve ever heard one. ✨
It sounds like an invitation to me….into a place that accepts me and you as we are now- creatures of layers and depth, unfolding our mysteries in gradual revelations.
I sense we are about to have another round of adventures on our hands….
PPS. I’ve taken up golf.
I never saw it coming. I mean, I do not ‘sport’.
Unless you call walking a sport, but that would be crazy.
All this time, I thought golf was a boring game at best, and just an excuse for CEO’s and doctors to be wheeling and dealing somewhere pretty. But NO! It is the perfect puzzle of a challenge, to get this tiny ball (pink, in my case…as is my golf outfit) allllllllll the way over there into that tiny hole. AND you get to hit things with a club! AAAAAND be outside in a beautiful setting while spending quality time with friends while zipping around in a cart. What’s not to love?!
The point is, my dear dreamer, you can reinvent yourself at any point in your life.
This is what true sovereignty looks like.
PPPS. I’ve been working on a website. It’s something I’ve been putting off forever because making it means I have to commit to things like colours and fonts and that makes me squirm.
It is still a work in progress but I’m sharing it anyway because guess what? SO AM I!
This leads me to the title of the next piece I’m cookin’ up:
The Art of Showing Up Unfinished
Until then, dance on….
Jacqueline
💖🎶✨
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