Four Italian Summer Traditions Worth Stealing

“Your marriage paperwork will be ready mid-September,” my lawyer said. It was early July.

“But that’s months away!”

“Si, certo. But August,” and she shrugged, palms to the sky. The matter, her gesture explained, is done. Things cannot be changed. August is sacred, and August is quiet, and in August everything stops.

Even marriages.

Even all the documents I needed for my marriage.

“It will be ok,” she added, seeing my face. “Non ti preoccupare (don’t worry).”

Five years later, I can attest to the fact that she was right. She was more than right — she was teaching me something critical that Italians have long understood:

Life is so much more than an office. Work will always be there when the leaves turn brown.

And summer, summer is a time sea, for sun, for long afternoons with the people we love the most.

Summer is a time for living.

So today I want to share a bit of that magic with you.

Here are some of my favorite Italian summer rituals I’ve grown to love — and the ones I think worth taking home with you, wherever you may be.

Plus behind the paywall, I’ve included the detailed Forte dei Marmi guide I’d actually send to my best friend — from my favorite beaches and restaurants to the little kid friendly tips.

1. Use those vacation days.

I was in a bad car crash when I was 17, one that involved an ambulance and a hospital and left me with a head full of stitches.

I returned to school on crtuches a day later.

Looking back, that says almost everything about how I grew up.

In my mind, taking time off, any time off, wasn’t acceptable. Whether at work or school or anywhere else, ‘vacation days’ were not allowed.

Italy does things differently. Here holiday time is required — and Italians take it effortlessly.

It’s one of the things that shocked my little American self, this idea that vacation days weren’t just something you save up and up and never use, as a way of proving your dedication to the job.

And it’s fantastic.

The Italians have figured out how powerful a bit of rest can be — how it nourishes the mind, how it calms the soul, how it gives you moments and minutes to be with loved ones in a world that’s speeding by.

So tip one? Take your vacation. Use those days.

2. Don’t maximize your trip.

As the cities swelter with heat and swell with tourists, Italians head to the beach.

Once there, they slow down — and this, again, surprised me.

In places like Forte dei Marmi (where we just spent a chunk of our summer), Italians quite happily pass weeks doing things on repeat.

And they don’t ever say ‘scusa’ for it.

Again and again, there’s the same sleepy morning,

The same Bagno (a small property with beach umbrellas in front, like a beach club but not always as ‘fancy’), the same tenda (a beach umbrella and chairs that you rent, often for weeks at a time),

The same long lunch with fish pasta and cold white wine,

The same sunsets spent with people you love.

And it made me realize that maybe

Maybe holidays aren’t only about seeing everything, or doing all the ‘stuff’.

Maybe they’re also about slowing down enough to observe the magic that’s already there, right in front of us.

3. Let the kids be bored. Let yourself be bored too.

Two other moms and I sat in the sand, digging out giant bucketfuls as the waves rushed in, trying to create the biggest possible hole.

“Look, it’s a lago! (lake),” said my daughter, switching between Italian and English even as she scoop scoop scooped right beside us.

The sun was setting and the sea felt sweet, smashing against our shins as we worked.

We did it for over an hour.

There’s a lot that can be said for encouraging boredom.

I read an article recently about how we’re dumbing ourselves down with our constant need for entertainment. Brain development, the article noted, happens when we’re bored — when we’re forced to imagine, to create.

And yet somewhere along the way, us adults, we gave up on boredom.

Our children gave up on it too.

I think this is one of the most beautiful things about Italian summer: things slow down.

Things simplify.

And in that space, ideas and connections and whimsy bloom.

4. Get to know your neighbors.

My kids wake up at 6am on a late day.

Every morning in Forte, we’d hop on my two-baby-seat bike, and cycle eight minutes to a small cafe. Across the street was a pasticceria, its windows stacked with fresh bread and schiacciata.

We’d order cornetti flaky with butter, a coffee for me, and a babycino for Rory.

And then, as the world woke up around us, we’d talk. Not just to each other, but to the ladies bustling behind the counter, or the nonni sat at one of the round tables, or the Bagno owner who popped in for a tiny espresso.

It’s so easy these days to isolate ourselves. To get everything delivered at home, everything picked-up on the go.

As technology developed, convenience became our biggest luxury.

But I wonder if familiarity isn’t the richer one…

There is a beauty in being known, in sipping a cafe and seeing your daughter waving at the same signore, smiling down at the same dog,

and feeling, feeling like you belong.

Even if it’s only for a summer.

The Forte dei Marmi guide I’d send to my best friend