The World Cup comes to Chattanooga

If we’re being honest, there’s really no reason for sports, right?

They’re a pastime, a diversion, an amusement.

Thousands of years ago one Neanderthal looked at another and said, “Hey, race you to that tree.”

They raced. More races followed. Someone introduced a ball. Lines were drawn. Rules were set. Uniforms were donned. Spectators gathered to watch.

And somehow that gets us to this week when it was announced that the five millionth fan had just come through the turnstiles at the 2026 World Cup. And the big games have barely started.

That’s not even counting TV. We do this every World Cup, but the international numbers are still staggering.

“The Super Bowl, which is fantastic, has what, 120-130 million viewers? The World Cup has six billion," FIFA president Gianni Infantino said in an interview with FOX Sports in April. "A World Cup is 104 Super Bowls in one month."

So, OK, just an amusement, but a big amusement.

And as we have seen, most of these fans are not here for the grace and beauty of world class athletes. This is about country and pride.

We say the World Cup is like the Olympic Games. And it is because it is international. But these are teams, picked to represent — and well, defend — your country.

It’s not just serious, it’s emotional.

When impeccably-coiffed Harry Kane finally nodded in a score in a very tense, OMG all-could-be-lost knockout England game with Congo, English announcer Darren Fletcher sounded almost undone.

“England’s savior!” he cried.

And if it goes the other way . . .

When the Netherlands failed to reach the round of 16, it was an historic flop.

Ronald Koeman, the Dutch coach resigned.

Immediately.

Then there is Hong Myung-bo, the coach of South Korea, after his team crashed out in a dismal loss to South Africa.

Myung-bo knew angry fans might be waiting for him when he arrived back home, so he scheduled his flight to land in Korea at 4 a.m.

Nope.

Dozens of angry South Korean protesters met the plane, banged on drums and chanted, “Hong must go.”

He resigned, but not before Lee Jae Myung, the president of South Korea, called for a government investigation.

OK, but still. . . is there really an impact? I mean Belgium just beat Senegal. Did that have any effect on your everyday life?

They’re still just games, right?

Well yes, but don’t discount that country connection.

When Germany also faced an extremely disappointing early exit, a German member of the European Parliament named Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann wrote on X:

“This national team plays the way this federal government governs: big on ambition, short on resolve. Everyone struggles on their own, no one takes responsibility, and when luck finally does appear, the goal doesn’t count.”

As German profession Alexander Strassner told Politico: “There is always a link between sports and politics.”

The connection is clearer and more widely believed than you might think.

Politico, which wrote an excellent politics/sport summary last week, said that a pollster for IPSOS recommended that if England were to win the World Cup, potential incoming prime minister, Andy Burnham should immediately call a snap election “to ride a tide of national euphoria.”

It’s been done before. (Politico again) Harold Wilson supporters felt a big reason he won election for prime minister in 1966 was that England won the World Cup.

So when the Cup rolled around four years later, Wilson scheduled another election at the same time, hoping to catch the soccer wave.

Alas, the Three Lions flopped against West Germany and were out. So was Wilson.

England hasn’t won a Cup since.

Also, we would be remiss not to turn the camera around the other way and look at what the teams/fans/countries have brought to the Cup.

You’ve probably seen the scenes of the hilariously social Scottish fans, who took over Boston and drank it dry.

But even better are little stories that have come out of middle-American cities, like Chattanooga. It is is embracing the Spanish team, after it made the city their home base for the Cup.

The fans love it. Hundreds of them turned out, waving Spanish flags, to welcome the La Roja at the airport. Now they are learning to recognize the players and follow them on social media.

But it works both way. Teams had their choice of cities and the Spanish team picked Chattanooga (pop. under 200,000) for its laid back feel. It has succeeded beyond their expectations.

Lamine Yamal, the 18-year-old, international superstar being touted as the “next Messi,” was so comfortable that he took a trip to the Fort Oglethorpe Walmart. For a guy with 44 million Instagram followers and who travels with a bodyguard in Europe, it was mind-bending.

He even posted a picture.

The Norwegians are in Greensboro, N.C., where fans are doing the now-famous “Viking row” chant. (above) And so is everyone else. There’s even a clip of Norwegian parliament taking a break to row and chant.

Egypt picked Spokane, Washington.

And of course everyone is telling the story of the Algerians in Lawrence, Kansas, the smallest host city of the Cup. Lawrence, pop. 95,000, was thrilled and surprised that Algeria picked them. They have gone all out.

Storefronts sport Algerian flags, residents wear green and white T-shirts and they’ve learned to shout, “Viva l’Algérie!”

A local bar has created an alcohol free section so Algerian fans can feel comfortable at a watch party. The University of Kansas band even learned the Algerian national anthem.

All of which is leading us up to these critical, hand-wringing knockout games approaching the final.

Little by little, teams get picked off and go home to their countries. They will be part of national history, for good or ill. Every team and country develops its own World Cup narrative.

England, sadly, has become known for fizzling out in the big moments, disappointing fans and a nation.

Fletcher, the English announcer, channeled those gloomy concerns. When things weren’t going well in the game with Congo. he couldn’t resist noting that, “England doesn’t always turn up,” and “it’s a very heavy shirt.”

There’s a little of that here too. Like English fans, USA boosters are wildly enthusiastic when there is early success, but then succumb to gloom and despair when there is adversity.

It reminds me of a joke I stole from the internet, and I intend to continue to tell (despite requests to stop) until the World Cup is over. It goes:

Nine-year-old Timmy is in an English elementary school. One day the teacher says, “Let’s talk about our families. Timmy, what does your father do?”

“He works in a strip club,” Timmy says. “He wears a little bikini bottom, oils his body, dances on a stage and people throw money at him.”

The teacher is horrified. She sends everyone else to recess.

“I am so sorry, Timmy,” she said. “I had no idea that’s what your dad did.”

“Actually, that’s not what he does. He plays soccer for England, so I had to make up something less embarrassing.”

Contact C.W. Nevius at cwnevius@gmail.com. Threads and Twitter: @cwnevius