How to start hosting more

When I meet with new clients, one of their goals for working with a designer is often “to entertain more.” I’d love nothing more than to design a home that feels like you! But I’ll tell you right now: you don’t need to work with me before you can start hosting.

We have a tendency to create all sorts of barriers before we invite people into our homes - a bigger dining table, a spotless home, a new sofa, art on the Big Blank Walls. But the greatest barrier in my experience is just building up the hosting muscle. Without that, every event feels like such a big lift. But once you do it, over and over and over, a 28-person party feels like no big deal.

I can say this because I did it. Last weekend I hosted a 28-person party in my small New York apartment - with 3 days notice. (It was meant to be a picnic in the park, but rain made that an impossibility).

I didn’t have seats for everyone, I didn’t have a spotless home, I didn’t get around to finishing any of the home projects first. And no one cared!

But I didn’t arrive here all at once. I’ve been unknowingly building up to this moment all year. Last year I was also someone who said I “want to host more.” I’d host dinner parties here and there, but they were few and far between and always threw me into a tizzy trying to prep.

That shifted when I had a baby. Late night dinners and drinks out with friends became harder to manage, but it was important to me that I maintain my friendships, and that my friends get to know my daughter.

Just like I believe in creating a home that feels like you and supports your life, I believe the way you host should too.

I read Priya Parker’s Art of Gathering when I was planning my wedding and I use her advice to this day. She says most people are concerned with the “what” and the “how” of hosting, what to serve, how to decorate. Priya recommends focusing on the “why,” and letting that drive everything else.

My why: to build community around my daughter and I in this new phase of life. She’s changing so rapidly that it needed to happen with some regularity. So I decided to host weekly brunches, inspired by Samin Nosrat’s Monday dinners. Daytime events at home felt much more accessible than late nights out. If you’re thinking, “weekly? Cristina that’s a crazy undertaking for a new mom” so were my friends, they convinced me to stick to monthly. Since then, the first Sunday of every month has been monthly brunch day.

Everyone who attends says it’s something they look forward to all month, a reprieve and comfort in hard times. An unexpected outcome given I started hosting these for my own needs, and especially since many of these people didn’t know each other before we began.

Next week I’ll share more of the “what” and the “how” to these monthly brunches, but for now I just wanted to share that if you want to start entertaining more, you can do it. Now. Before you “finish” your entire home.

Start today, by asking yourself “why?” Why do you want to host? What do you need right now? Chances are high that someone else in your life needs it too.

— Cristina

Want my design help with your home?

• Book a Design Consultation for 30 or 60 minutes. Show me your space, ask me your questions, get personal design advice.

• Get a Personal Shopping Guide. We’ll work with what you already have and incorporate a few new key pieces to finally complete your room. Send me a message if you’re interested.

And if you’re not ready to work with me just yet, I have a free video series for you and in this episode is all about making your home office less office-y.

What clients are saying:

“I feel like my living room has been in a directionless spiral and after just 1 hour of chatting, I have such clear direction and an incredible vision thanks to you. I feel excited about my space again and am really looking forward to the process of putting together my room with your ideas.”

— Tonya