Is your health like a trail of broken dreams, littered with empty junk food wrappers and pricey exercise gear? Punctuated by starts, stops, and semi-seriously injurious jaunts that ended in yet another collision with a brick wall? Do you physically and emotionally cringe at the word ‘health’, triggered into binge streaming (or screaming, however you choose to read that🤷♀️) accompanied by failed-attempt-#106-flavored ice cream? Today’s bite crams all that spiraling back into the chip bag where it belongs, so we can deal in simple facts. YOUR facts, not ‘the’ facts, because although humans are 90+% the same, we all have our own starting point and let’s face it, your first base is very different than someone else’s. However, the sublime beauty of today’s post is that everyone’s first base is equally easy to reach.
Back in elementary school, projects were relatively straight-forward. The teacher presented a lesson based on a topic then asked students to write a story or do a project in support of the material. What I recall about those assignments is we began with a simple outline. The outline was a somewhat ordered list of thoughts or ideas or tasks, or all three, that created a roadmap which took us from a blank page to a finished assignment. The outline was step one, first base if you will. The outline was NOT goals, dreams, or a stream of consciousness. It was more like a recipe card from which we cooked up a passing result to hand in to the teacher.
Here’s our snack-sized health recipe for July. KNOW YOUR BASELINE NUMBERS.
Hello? Is anyone out there?! We’ve been going at our health in baby steps all year. But, it’s time to fine tune, creating your own bespoke (Don’t you hate this pretentious word? I love that today it simply means ‘speaking of YOU’ uniquely) routine. Create something that is just right for you, just right for your lifestyle and for your budget and for your climate, etc. But before we can fine tune anything, we must first understand which cylinders aren’t firing properly.
Go get a physical. Yes, get a physical. Maybe your current physician is reluctant to buck the established medical guidelines to do a complete workup on you via blood tests, which when we think about it represent a miraculous peek under your hood to determine how well your systems are currently running. If not, then use a reputable alternative service, like Function Health. Here’s the link, from which I receive NO affiliate rewards. Function Health
I’ve written extensively about the benefits of knowing your baseline and about how Function helped me quit dramatizing my health and simply work with the facts instead. At the end of this post I’ll link a detailed post about how Function Health CHANGED MY LIFE. Since my first series of tests with them I’ve discovered and improved my A1C (an early warning for pre-diabetes) and chronic kidney disease. This year I’m working on reducing/eliminating systemic inflammation. At $1 per day for the annual membership, which includes 2 blood tests with now over 160 metrics analyzed each time, it’s the least expensive second opinion you’ll ever have on EVERYTHING going on with your health. Members get their numbers along with a thorough explanation of every metric AND how to improve each one, from an actual medical doctor. It’s the most empowering step you can take for a healthy future. But, this is not today’s prize.
THE prize is - Formal permission to stop lying to yourself.
Get serious about feeling and living better. Go get your numbers and get to first base. After that, stealing second becomes the best next step you’ll ever take.
Now, let’s get to the laughs!
***This post is too long to view in email. Use this link to view at your leisure on my website. This post will be pinned to the top.****
Bren’s Buzz | Cori Bren | Substack
Your health and these laughs are worth the time.
Did you know that hitting the ❤️ icon above or below, and sharing this post shows your appreciation for Bren’s Buzz?
Are you walking, grounding, lifting, skating? Do you even lift bro? Get your real numbers then share this with everyone you know. Someday you’ll have the funniest reunion imaginable.
Stop, let me check my list. Sorry sir (madam) but you’re not on the list. Press this button and the kiosk will issue you a golden ticket.
Memes are some of my most popular posts overall, found under Fun Stuff on my website. Trying not to pee while you laugh is good exercise. Just sayin…
Let’s be real, have you tried anything I’ve shared in the first 6 months? I have zero expectations, so be honest. Is anyone using an alternative medicine diagnostic service, like Function Health? They have an MRI now that can identify cancers of the brain, thyroid, liver, gallbladder, pancreas, spleen, kidney, adrenal glands, bladder, ovaries, uterus, and prostate as well as identifying signs of damage from a host of other conditions.
What do you think of all this?
Here are my post about results from Function Health. And, my June Bren’s Bite post, inside of which is the link to May where all Jan-Apr are linked. After that are those amazingly organic authors writing about real health, from real nature, with real actionable ways to make small but powerful adjustments. Peace, love, and good health to you all.
Why Is Your Check-Engine Light On?
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September 21, 2025
I’m releasing this post again in hopes that many more of my current audience members read it and take charge of their health. I’m happy to report that just since the initial post, I’ve discovered more about my health via statistics - which are sometimes referred to as ‘mega data studies’ in the current vernacular.
June Bren’s Bites with links to May where all are linked.
Let's Get Ready to Bundddllleee!!!!
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Jun 19
I know, I know. But I’m a writer and when these titles pop into my head I just know it’s time to get it all out on paper for the best (feral, rampaging, motley🤷♀️) band of subscribers in the inter-realms.
Links to health authors’ posts I love
Dr. Mark Hyman - also the founder of Function Health
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