Signature values

I sometimes want to say stuff like ‘I really value authenticity’ or ‘I care a lot about freedom’ but it feels kinda truistic and adversarial. Truistic because… well, few people would say that authenticity and freedom are bad. As far as I’m aware, even authoritarians don’t explicitly say that they hate freedom. Similarly, it’s almost a Wildean paradox to say ‘I really value inauthenticity’—that would be far too honest and authentic a phrase for any truly inauthentic person to say. Saying ‘I value [widely admired concept]’ seems like an empty flex.

And adversarial because: I worry that by making claims like this, I’m implying that my interlocutor doesn’t value the thing. ’I sometimes struggle with job interviews because it feels like they’re incentivising me to be inauthentic’—oh, so if someone happens to like job interviews, they hate authenticity and are super fake?

(Incidentally, this is also true of labels like ‘pro-life’ and ‘pro-choice’ (Conservatives hate choice? Liberals hate life?). It’s also true of pretty much anything positive you can say about being polyamorous or being monogamous. ‘I like being poly because I value the freedom to have the relationships I want, for me and my partners’—oh, so monogamous people are all controlling and hate freedom? ‘I’m monogamous because it makes me feel special and valued to be my partner’s one and only romantic partner’—oh, so poly people can’t make their partners feel special and valued? Etc.)

It also feels vulnerable to say ‘I value authenticity’, because… well, now I’ve talked about how super authentic or freedom-loving I am, I’m worried I’ve set an expectation I won’t live up to. If my interlocutor now catches me doing something a little inauthentic, or a little authoritarian, I seem like a hypocritical blowhard.

What do?

I’ve been playing with the concept of ‘signature values’. People value lots of things somewhat and theoretically, but there are often just a couple of things that in practice really bother us, beset us, gadfly us, define our decisions, and have a big say in what we actually do.

Just because you have something as a signature value, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re better at realising it than others—it’s just something you care about and think about more than everyone else. Perhaps the value preoccupies you precisely because you’re not living up to it. In particular, people can have crises when it becomes hard or impossible for them to enact previous signature value—the social butterfly who’s moved to a quiet village, the knowledge-thirsty historian who’s burnt out of their research, the pro tennis player who’s done something to their elbow.

As I said above, most people would agree that authenticity and freedom are Broadly Good. Yet there’s a meaningful sense, I think, in which I value authenticity more than others. I’m more bothered than others by the small insincerities of life. I overshare online. I enjoy expressive practices that others might considering embarrassing, vulnerable, or even cringe, such as going to therapy, coaching, journalling, writing confessional blogs, larp, dancing like nobody’s watching even when people are very much watching, and nudism.

Similarly with freedom: everyone has vaguely positive vibes about freedom, but my valuing of freedom has led me to a few beliefs or attitudes that few people hold, even within liberal circles:

• People should be able to move wherever they want in the world, with no bureaucracy or conditions attached to that

• We should strive to grant children as much freedom and agency as adults

• It’s ok if my romantic partners have sex and emotional intimacy with other people

Conversely, compare health. If someone asked me ‘do you care about health?’, I’d be like, sure. I’d like to live to a good old age and not suffer pain and discomfort throughout my life—who wouldn’t? I even take some steps to be healthier, such as going to the gym, seeing the dentist, and eating a vegetable from time to time.

But health isn’t a signature value for me in a way that it is for others. My diet isn’t optimized for nutrition. I don’t take a bajillion supplements. I don’t hire a personal trainer to help me maximize my gains. I don’t wear sunscreen as much as I should. I live in a polluted major city, which probably aggravates my asthma and shortens my life.

Here are some other things that might be signature values for people, and what someone with that signature value might be like.

This person likely pursues a career in an intellectual field, for example as an academic. They have Anki decs galore, and thrive on learning random facts. They use Duolingo on the toilet. They have multiple hundreds of tabs open at any given time. They’re in five book groups. Their favourite social media site is the EA Forum.

This person is extremely abreast of social issues: maybe multiple, or maybe just one or two that they’re most interested in. They go to protests whenever they get the chance; maybe they even organize them. They’re very online and not shy to express their opinions.

This person says things like ‘family is everything’. They prioritize spending time not only with their spouse and kids, but with extended family. Maybe they’re a stay-at-home parent who’s strongly committed to that lifestyle. Maybe every Sunday the whole extended clan is round their house for a huge meal. Maybe they are a matriarch or patriarch with loads and loads of kids and grandkids.

Some other values that might be signature values for people: self-development/self-knowledge, honour, tradition, sexuality, EA-style altruism, creativity, playfulness, and friendship.