Reading · Conspiracy Sarah

Well hello. I hope you all had a wonderful “independence” day. First off, I would like to apologize for my absence. I took a much needed, though unplanned, time-out from the inter webs. A few of you kind folks reached out to check on me, and I appreciate that. All is well.

I spent much of May and June traveling, and didn’t open my computer. I wish I could say that I went completely offline. But I was still checking in on the young humans I love dearly and managing studio things from afar.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have been able to see some parts of the world that I haven’t before.

I headed out of the country right as the HantNotaVirus was awkwardly exiting stage right.

I covered that here 👇

And here👇

HaNotaVirus was instantly replaced by a much more reliable fear monger.

One that is armed with fevers of hemorrhagic horribleness, and decades of predictive programming…

The one …

The only …

🦠 Ebola 🦠

I was in Montreal, Hong Kong, and the Philippines and I saw very little evidence that Ebola was being taken seriously. A few signs posted here and there at the airport. And I saw one family (that appeared to be from Africa) pulled into a small room in Manila. Other than that…Nobola.

I did see this sign in Manila:

Anyway, I returned home from abroad on June 7th, arriving at Hartsfield Jackson in Atlanta. After thirty-something hours of travel I was exhausted and not my sharpest. If I had been on my game, I would’ve whipped out my phone and taken a video when I happened upon the CDC’s Welcome Home Table. I truly regret that I did not capture the scene, but I will do my very best to recreate it for you now.

Have you ever been to a high school basketball game? Picture a folding table where a couple of moms, perhaps running the booster club, are selling raffle tickets. There’s a banner hanging off the front of the table that says something to the effect of: WHS Bulldogs BOOSTER RAFFLE!!!

Ok, now imagine that folding table is actually at the busiest airport in the world (ATL). And the booster club banner is a CDC banner with a homemade poster that says TESTING. And instead of two heavily perfumed moms with lipstick on their teeth and smiles that never stop judging, there are two lackluster CDC employees with cropped hair and face masks. I definitely slowed down to see what was being halfway hollered from the CDC table (that I swear could have been selling raffle tickets or handing out door prizes). Yes, I said halfway hollered.

Halfway Hollering → Calling out at an elevated volume with exactly zero urgency.

What was being halfway hollered?

“Anyone traveling from abroad, [listing various countries]. You must stop here. Get tested.”

The lackluster tone sounded like they were requesting, but their words were a demand. And nobody stopped. Not one person. Zero. Zilch. Nada. And the CDC ladies just kept repeating the same thing over and over.

I have attempted to have AI recreate this scene for you. It didn’t get it exactly right, but it’s pretty close.

The CDC Welcome Table definitely didn’t reflect this report:

Gosh folks, according to “The News”, we’ve got a public health emergency and shit’s about to get real. Someone should let the CDC know. If I didn’t know better, I’d think they aren’t really worried about Ebola at all 😉.

Alright, that was a long lead in and I know you really just came for the memes😘. They are a bit tardy, but I still laughed when I looked them over and decided to post them up anyway.

So without further ado…