The conversations that hold us together.

I never expected to write one post about baseball, let alone two. But here we are.

Don’t run for the hills if you’re not into baseball. That’s not really what this post is about.

It’s about how casual connections support our well-being.

During the height of baseball playoffs here in Canada, when the Toronto Blue Jays were making a run for and then in the World Series, every outing, be it to the grocery store, gym, hair salon, restaurant, revealed more and more people displaying their team spirit. Jays t-shirts, hats, jerseys, sweatshirts, pins, and flags were plentiful.

This invited conversation. I had more chats with total strangers in those weeks than I had had in a long time. Standing in line at the grocery store, I’d see someone with a Jays hat on next to me and say something about the starting pitcher for that night’s game and ask about what they thought our chances were. Conversations even happened in the aisles of the grocery store. Someone would approach me talking about the game and how exciting it was. Servers and cashiers and total strangers walking their dogs on the streets would all say, “Go Jays!”.

And it felt nice. Really nice.

When the season ended, I, along with 40 million other people, was heartbroken… but, I quickly realized that this wasn’t just because the series did not end the way I’d hoped.

I was grieving not only the loss of a win but also the loss of so many casual discussions.

I talk about the power of casual connection a lot in my work. It’s a topic that comes up during my talks and training on professional networking, business relationship-building, and stress management.

I feel it’s high time I talk about the power of casual connection here, too.

We all need community. Connection with others is critical to our well-being.

Often, when we hear the word “community”, we think of family and close friends and maybe acquaintances in groups, associations, churches, gyms, etc. While it’s true that these relationships are so important to our well-being, what is too often overlooked is the power of casual connections with others.

I’m talking about quick chats with the person packing your bags at the grocery store, the host at a restaurant, the driver taking you to your next destination, the banker helping you with a transaction. Basically, I’m talking about the kind of casual interactions I enjoyed so much during baseball play-offs.

Studies have shown that people who have more casual connections are happier, healthier, and have a greater sense of belonging. That’s right: casual connections play that big of a role. It’s not all about having a “crew”.

Casual connections matter. A lot.

Yet, our opportunities to engage in casual interactions are decreasing exponentially and in direct proportion with the increase in technology in our lives. Think of the impact that online banking, shopping, food ordering, shared ride ordering, earbuds, or a smartphone in general have on our lives: Less interaction with another human.

I’m not a technology naysayer. I love tech. But we cannot merely focus on its benefits while turning a blind eye to its drawbacks. The rapid loss of casual connections is hurting us. There’s a reason so many of us feel lonely. Interestingly, for the first time since loneliness has been measured, young people (the heaviest users of technology) are reporting greater levels of loneliness than the elderly.

I want to repeat this: casual connections make us feel less lonely.

We can’t just wait for casual connections to happen. We have to make them happen. We have to choose to seek them out. This requires some effort, of course, but the benefits are so worth it. You will feel uplifted from merely having the conversation, even if you never talk to or even see the person again.

Magic happens when we put our phones away and allow ourselves to make eye contact with and have a conversation with a complete stranger.

Warmly,

Stephanie

Helping you crush it without crushing yourself.

I’m introducing a new newsletter on my website. In addition to the writing I do here, on Substack, I also write via a newsletter on LinkedIn, a blog on my website, and for my upcoming book! This new monthly newsletter will allow me to pull all my writing together. It will also be a place where I will share work and personal updates and insights from my book.

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Every post you read here is written by me (not by A.I.).

This blog post was written in beautiful Waterdown Ontario, which is on the traditional territory of the Haudenosonee, the Anishnabek, and the Mississaugas of the Credit. I recognize that I am a settler here. I offer gratitude to those who have cared for and protected this land for generations. As I move forward, I commit to doing so with respect and in a spirit of reconciliation, honouring the relationships between the people, the land and the communities that continue to thrive here.

The information, insight, and advice I share through my work is meant to exist alongside whatever else you may be doing to bolster your mental health, manage stress, or improve your well-being. Nothing I share is meant to replace directives or treatment plans provided by your doctor, therapist, or other healthcare professional.