Club 28

The Twin Peaks screenshot I thought was funny. I think it also sums up what it feels like to become another year older while feeling like nothing has really “moved.”

As of August 20th of this year, I made it. I lasted on this planet longer than most people who’ve probably made a more lasting impact than I have, and it’s been a lot for me to process. What exactly have I done? Right now, maybe I’m not so sure. I’m not sure that my life has really put me in a spot where I look back and think I’ve accomplished something grand. Yet others who didn’t make it to this age have done so much, and I can’t help but measure up to them.

Some may tell me that I’ve done something through my reputation on Letterboxd, especially when I watch more movies than most people around me. That’s one thing, but I don’t think of watching this many films as a feat as much as it is a hobby. What really would be enlightening to me, on the other hand, is if I’d be made aware of people who have said they readily watched a movie because I gave it five stars. And obviously, I know I give out many of these. I get it, their frequency seems like it’d be more than most would feel prepared to hand out. Though I think it’s also how I sense I’ve been able to curate my tastes to reflect something I like.

Where I am now, I like to think that things can only go up. I haven’t been able to write as much, because I just haven’t been in the right mindset that’s let me do it so consistently for a while. It’s pretty bad to say this ahead of a major film festival that I’ll be attending, but I think it might help explain why I haven’t been able to write much outside of what you see from me every Friday. Or at least, those short little blurbs on Letterboxd which you see from me on the daily.

There’s not really too much I’ve observed in this week since turning 28 that’s really felt much different. Except for maybe that crippling habit of procrastination which has kept me from doing something that I loved for so long. Perhaps I can climb my way out of this in the coming days, or maybe not. It’s just here as long as I think it will be, and I know I don’t have all that much I can offer on the spot. Except for my existence.

All I will say is: if you’ve ever watched a movie because I gave it five stars, then that’s far more gratifying to me than simply praising me for watching a lot of movies. Even if you hate the movie, then I at least know I’ve left some semblance of an impact behind.

Here’s to another year of more of the same. Or maybe not. If you’ve made it to the bottom, thanks. If you’re new here, you can subscribe down below. Or don’t.