2025 is Kicking My Ass

2025 is kicking my ass. This isn’t even all bad. There are probably good ass kickings. It’s just overwhelming.

For better or worse, this year is doing a number on me. Now I’m stumbling into November and trying to accept that I may be off-kilter for a while.

Time has passed! My last newsletter is from April. It was all about how in March I had one of the worst pain flares I’ve had in my life. This alone has shaped my year in ways I can’t fully articulate. In June my family moved across the country, driving from Durham, North Carolina to Chicago, Illinois. This summer was full of good family visits. It also involved the anxiety that comes with being visibly trans in the South. God forbid a person needs a pit stop. And then, once we started to get settled into a new routine in our new city, Operation Midway Blitz started. In the last 3 weeks, several detainments have been so close to home that I can’t share the details without doxxing myself.

Yeah, some of the ass kicking has just been bad.

And still! I’ve missed writing. More than writing, I’ve missed deadlines. I’ve been writing this whole time, but not like this. It turns out that publishing weekly keeps me honest. I’m not allowed to be overly fussy, there’s not time for an existential crisis. I write what I’m passionate about, edit it best I can and then send it out to you, dear reader. This is a good and healthy rhythm. It’s time to return to it.

So that’s the plan! I’ll be back to weekly missives. I’ll also try to ramp up my newsletters for folks generous enough to support my writing by becoming paid subscribers. Apologies for my long absence, but I’ll make it up to you with words! Good ones, too!

For now, I’ll touch on the months I’ve missed. Please enjoy this picture tour of the year of ass kickings. I hope you’re feeling more balanced than I am these days, and if not, at least I can offer solidarity.

This was our last full month in Durham. It’s the closest I’ve come to feeling senioritis since high school. Keeping a house running while packing a house is a necessity of moving! It’s also a miserable combination. I finally got rid of the cloth diapers we’ve had since CB’s babyhood and soaked up our last incredible Durham strawberry season.

We moved at the end of June. We drove away from hour apartment an hour after the moving truck left with our belongings drove to Asheville. CB is a train kid and while the move has been a lot for him to process, he did get to sleep in a literal caboose! Pretty cool stuff!

CB went to summer camp and a water park for the first time ever in July. These events were unrelated but this summer was full of big kid milestones. I also saw one bald eagle multiple times? Multiple bald eagles one time each? Or some other combination of eagle sightings along the Mississippi River.

I am not a lake person, or I wasn’t. But Great Lakes hit different, and we spent much of our summer on Chicago beaches. We also got our first water taxi experience and found our favorite local parks. I got a Chicago Public Library summer reading challenge hat and the most absurd, beautiful horse sweater vest I’ve ever seen.

Myles and I did the Chicago Architecture boat tour on arguably the best weather day we had this year. CB started kindergarten, I started a quilting class and spent a few Friday mornings at Broadview Detention Center where folks show up weekly in protest of unlawful detainments and detentions. Since activity has gotten closer to home, I’ve redirected my effort to more local crises for now.

The real highlight of October has been CB’s Halloween celebrations. He decided to be Chappell Roan, an artist he became fully obsessed with this summer after too many hours in the car listening to his parents’ playlists. I won’t include pictures but know that he was channeling Chappell Roan at Tiny Desk and the pink dress that ties it all together was just a very lucky find on Poshmark.

I’ll be back next week and the week after that. And so on. Thanks for your patience, thanks for reading. I hope there’s some moments of gentleness and safety in your week. And I hope I get some of those moments too.