ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

Someone asked if I’d put together a ‘best of’ collection of my goofy bookstore videos…

Why the hell not?

Why do I do these videos? Beyond the inherent look at me, look at me of it all, the thing I’ve found out about myself is that A) I have no qualms making an absolute fool out of myself, B) I think it’s more fun talking about other people’s books than my own, C) it’s really cool to visit a bookstore I’ve never been to, see my friends’ books on the shelves, and want to share that with them, and D) well… what else am I gonna do with myself?

So… here we are. Some of my favorite, stupid, idiotic, goofy videos talking about books.

This is the first silly video I ever made while on tour for Ghost Eaters. I’d never been to Little Ghosts Books before, I fell in love with it, and I wondered if any of my author friends would feel as enamored to see their books on the shelves as much as I did… so I thought I’d share. It was the first time I thought, “Oh, what if I did this everywhere?”

I’ve always felt like a used car salesman when it comes to hocking my own books, so it felt like a fun idea to try and do that at Chris’s bookstore. This makes the cut purely for my love for Erin Adams’ JACKAL.

There’s something really special about seeing your name on a marquee for the first time. Plus George R.R. Martin showed up, which was pretty cool of him to do.

Gibson’s has quickly become a home away from home, but this was my first time to visit. Me and Chuck Wendig convinced our crowd to chant “crab apples” to celebrate the release of our novels BLACK RIVER ORCHARD and WHAT KINDA MAMA.

Quirk Books put together an “ice cream truck” for their booth at NYCC, where their authors were asked to sell “flavors”… I tried so hard to sell SPOOKY ICE CREAM, but there were few takers. My days as an ice cream vendor were sadly numbered.

Christopher Golden and Brian Keene put together a great weekend to celebrate the release of Christopher’s novel THE HOUSE OF LAST RESORT… but Chris was taking his dear sweet time to join us, so the restless audience had to get a little creative.

As a fan of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan and Brian Keene, it seemed appropriate to honor both. Plus I have a crush on Paul Tremblay. Who doesn’t?

This is a bit silly in a different way, but I’d never seen one of my books at an airport bookstore before. I got a little emotional and wanted to share.

I was Adam Cesare’s conversation partner for the release of CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD 3: THE CHURCH OF FRENDO. Here’s a rare out-take from the film adaptation of his first book, which hopefully will make it to the DVD bonus features.

I might’ve peaked with this one, celebrating the release of Emily Hughes’ wonderful book HORROR FOR WEENIES, alongside Erin E. Adams… Thank you, Emily.

I got to be Rachel Harrison’s conversation partner at Gibson’s for the release of her novel SO THIRSTY, only to discover her audience were a bunch of vampires.

Back on my used car salesman bullshit, which I’m realizing is more and more just being a WWF announcer… but this is the most fun I have making these videos.

Me and Nat Cassidy did an event together and this is what happened. “Horror authors in the library, horror authors in the library…” Watch out for the stools!

I’d never done an unboxing video before…

For WAKE UP AND OPEN YOUR EYES book launch, I got the lovely crowd at Books Are Magic to sing along to “Baby Ghost” with me, which was such a sweet treat.

Any chance I get to go back to Gibson’s, I’ll go… and any chance I get to make a fool out of myself, well, I’ll take it. Thank you, Ryan, for your cinematography skills.

The B&N Hingham Book Club has always been kind to me, and they’ve humored my need to make a fool out of myself time and time again. Thank you, Lisa…

B&N let me use their intercom system once to hype horror and I choked. Thank you, Cassandra, for humoring me on this. I’ll do better next time.

Me and Chuck Wendig had some fun in the aisles of The Doylestown Bookshop.

Real-time jump-scare for Rachel Harrison at Stokercon. I don’t know how this worked.

To celebrate the release of WHEN THE WOLF COMES HOME, author Nat Cassidy and I had a wolf-off… and I think I won.

I was vury vury lucky to be the vury vury first customer to run through New York’s first ever horror bookstore, The Twisted Spine… and they haven’t kicked me out yet.

To celebrate the launch of Rachel Harrison’s PLAY NICE, me and Nat Cassidy wanted to celebrate. All hail the queen.

I am a mad monk with a badass knight ready to fight in this death match debate at Fantastic Fest, where I got to argue for: “The book is better…”

This one was a duo juxtaposition done in collaboration with Matthew Jackson, where you get to see how idiotic I look to other people, then how idiotic I look to myself.

To celebrate the release of Ally Mallinenko’s BROKEN DOLLS, I got to be her conversation partner… and so much more. Nat doesn’t want to be friends with Dolly.

So… nobody told me that Fountain Bookstore moved across the street.

While visiting the Springfield-Greene County Public Library, me and author Sam Rebelein were chased through the aisles by a stranger.

Again… thanks to Lisa and the B&N Hingham Book Club for humoring me on this.

Okay, okay, I know… this one’s really recent. Still… I feel like such a goober.

Okay.

So.

Still here? I hope this brings a little light, a little levity to your day… Thanks to all the bookstores and libraries, booksellers and librarians and fellow authors who humored me on this. When I die, remember me for the fool I was.

Take care,
CMC