hello all,
i come to you from the economy aisle seat of an airbus barreling towards Europe with origins, from my perspective at least, in Los Angeles. i am thinking a lot, mourning quite a bit, and sorting through much confusion. the wifi on the flight is limited and the forced disconnect with the online world as well as my real-life connections has prompted introspection and a slight spiral on my end.
i’ve always been open about my struggles and general inability to balance my time online vs off and that struggle has come to a head. many friends and non friends are leaving online spaces, scheduling time offline, replacing apps with newer apps, jumping from one app to the other new and slightly less offensive alternative. this constant movement, chaos and desire to “keep up” simply does not fit with the general abundance of offline problems i regularly have to face, head on, in my day to day life.
all this to day, i loved using substack for a time but cannot justify it as a place i willingly “coax” my listeners / drive claire-related digital traffic to. free speech, on paper, is wonderful. the blatant support of white nationalism / supremacy and hate speech (that so often follows “free speech” advocacy) is, reductively put, not wonderful. this is why i have made the decision to cease all posting and promoting via this channel. i apologize for those who like reading essays/updates/ramblings from others on here, i do too! i just cannot stomach the idea of driving traffic to such a deeply flawed place.
twitter or whatever we call that now, simply the worst and the tiny orange dick-guzzling we witnessed at the inauguration from meta/FB bruv, absolutely disgusting. unfortunately, these places are where i reach more listeners and potential listeners so i continue to share updates on them. i have many self imposed rules and boundaries that me and my therapists over the years put in place (lol) and when i stick to those rules, i can exist on the gram without putting a knife to my throat.
this is messy, not structured perfectly, and definitely a bummer for me and some of you.
i want to also take a minute at the end of this to say that conversations, relevant to and informing my feelings mentioned above, with my friends Matt Sage, Mari (more eaze), Lina Tullgren, and Dawood Nadurath have helped me navigate my stance on these issues with the room all imperfect beings need for nuance and space to change their mind in an ever changing world.
i will be using subscription info / emails from this list to start a more organic and no-frills newsletter in the coming weeks and months.
i have plans for a physical zine coming from my desk to your home, once or twice a year.
i have so much music and general info on how to contact me on clairerousay.com
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simply being alive can feel like a burden. life creates a general heaviness that i’m struggling with each and every day. you people, music, and pics of tiny animals are what keeps me from suffocating from that weight
hope you all understand. if you do not want to receive emails just opt out. i will not be offended.
see you online in new ways or irl in the places below:
FEBRUARY 1ST — BERLIN @ CTM (DUO W/ MARTYNA BASTA)
FEBRUARY 2ND — JENA @ TRAFO
FEBRUARY 6TH — LEUVEN @ STUK
FEBRUARY 7TH — MADRID @ CONDE DUQUE
FEBRUARY 10TH — MILAN @ ARCI BELLEZZA
FEBRUARY 14TH — ESPOO @ ESPOO CULTURAL CENTER
APRIL 10TH — CHICAGO @ INTERNATIONAL MUSEUM OF SURGICAL SCIENCE
APRIL 11TH — TORONTO @ MONARCH TAVERN
APRIL 13TH — BROOKLYN @ ROULETTE
today’s title comes from “Web” an album by Bill Laswell & Tetsu Inoue
love,
cr
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