writing as i enter the final hour of my eternal LAX>MIA flight — tour kicks off tomorrow (3 september) in Miami. i’m trying my best to live in the moment but it feels nearly impossible. to keep tour scheduling straight and also be in the moment fully? a dream. these upcoming shows make up my first proper jaunt in a while. i think the last tour, or substantial string of shows, was in the spring this year. “proper” and “substantial” are subjective but For Me the tour doesn’t start to feel right until i reach double digits. feels like my whole life is counting days… on and off the road. any personal comfort with the “setlist” or like, music i decide to play, is achieved only at the week and a half / two week mark. i rarely travel with other people and perform solo, so this self imposed timeline of comfort is truly all mine to try and understand or i guess control.
performing the same music each night can turn into this almost transcendent thing - tons of touring musicians say this. where you’re just there, alone with the music you know so well, it can be otherworldly. it’s my dream to be back in a place where i’m playing the same music each night on a tour. this is rarely possible. i typically tour when i have 2-4 situations of the following: someone asks for a specific kind of performance in a specific city during a time i am available to travel.
this time around i’m playing some live screening events for The Bloody Lady, performing improvised collaborative music, trying a new solo set, and maybe a gig with songs. it’s these special request events that bring home the (very moderate measurements of) money. cobbling together a number of these special-request gigs plus a few diy shows with friends is usually the way a viable tour will shake out. i’m always grateful to be on the road but sometimes* there are curatorial aspects to the trip / gigs that are out of my control.
*more often than not
this isn’t meant to come across as complaining exactly… i just want to be transparent with the generous ticket-holder. this transparency feels important for those at the show (and let’s be real here too, the shows are not huge). sometimes folks ask why i didn’t sing that one song. i am probably not singing a song because someone who holds money in their hands asked me to play different music than you are asking me to play — and this honestlyyyy is okay with me most of the time. i love music. i also love working hard. sometimes when you play music and someone gives you money for that act, you can view it as a work situation, in addition to this kinda untouchable and beautiful spiritual thing that music can also be.
my flight is almost over. when i land im taking a cab to my hotel right on the beach. gonna swim today if it’s the only thing i do besides sit on this plane and look at my phone!!!
(edit - i am crawling into my uber atm as i scowl at the thin blue line stickers that populate its bumper. if i could afford to cancel it i would. how is this not an option for free lol wtffff)
this tour brings me to a few new places, a few places ive not been in a decade, and some places that im not sure anyone even knows about my music. come to a gig!
the next tour is all new music from my upcoming record “a little death”
i’ve got the new record online for anyone looking to pay for a copy (physical or otherwise).
i’m always grateful for your eyes and ears. always in solidarity with the Palestinian people. always in solidarity with everyone else tryna make it work. and alllways looking forward to the next moment of music.
x
cr
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