Reading · claire rousay · RSS Amplifier

i come to you from my home in Los Angeles. this has only been home a short while though. so i sit here, nostalgic for a version of my hometown that doesn’t exist anymore. it feels like time and proof of times-had are slipping through my fingers more with each year. i would say i miss certain friends, life patterns or activities but honestly, most of these people and places are still around and have just moved on in a way i don’t know if i ever will.

next tuesday i leave for a five week tour across europe and the uk. my first impulse is to say “i am not sure how to feel” but i have loads of feelings and almost all of them end in some unlikely catastrophe i’ve constructed in my head. so.. to sum it up - i am stuck with this mental whiplash of fighting off nostalgia while on the cusp of a super untethered reality (solo global touring).

this whole thing (touring, feeling nostalgic, constructing illogical daydreams) feels so self indulgent. i truly do not wish to be complaining (about the safety and predictability of my life) during a time with so much global upheaval and suffering. i do my best to hold the close ones closer and send love (but also like, actual financial support and resources) to those further away who need it. though, it feels like even categorizing hardship as close and far sort of has a dehumanizing aspect to it?

i come with a gift though. below is my personal nostalgia mix this week. all these tracks have been on repeat as i drive to and from my studio, preparing for tour. maybe not all super old tunes but all of ‘em hold a memory or something like that.