Using clothes as a tool to feel confident and unstoppable has completely changed my everyday life. I’m the most confident I’ve ever been and feel like I’m finally getting to know the real me. I’m still learning every day but I’m far enough along to put some lightbulb moments down on the page. A few things I know now that would have made a world of difference starting out.
And I have “after kids” in the title but this list really applies to any big life change that forces you to find yourself again.
So here’s everything I stopped doing…
Challenging myself to wear the clothes I already own in fresh new ways forced me to play around in my closet. I tried new color combinations, balanced dressy with casual, added something unexpected to an otherwise simple outfit….and very quickly started to see themes emerge of what makes me feel the most like myself.
Been there! I tried doing a closet clean out following the advice of only keeping the clothes that made me feel 10/10…. and I had to stop because there wasn’t going to be anything left! But what it really came down to was settling. I settled for styles that were on sale, I settled for what I had before kids, for what looked good on other people. When I started saying “I Love You” in the mirror instead of my usual critique, slowly everything started to change and I didn’t want to settle anymore. I wanted to get to know the real me.
For the majority of my life I desperately tried to fit in and mold myself into a standard where everyone would like me so they wouldn’t talk behind my back. As I started feeling confident & unstoppable in my outfits I slowly stopped caring! And I can’t tell you how many women thank me, that I gave them “permission” to wear something, maybe it’s a cute dress to a school event when everyone else is in leggings. But listen, you don’t need permission. The world (and your kids!) just needs the real you.
I love a trend as much as the next girl but the difference is I’m not a slave to them. I will not feel left out if balloon pants don’t make an appearance in my closet this Fall but will I try them? Maybe! Just to see how I feel. And if they uplift me and I feel amazing, then it’s a go! But if not, I’m confident taking a hard pass and sticking with the classics.
I took an online course on color psychology and it changed me forever! It was all about how colors make us feel, not what we should be wearing based on our eye or skin color. I should do a whole post on this but for now just start listening to your body. What color makes you smile when you put it on? What color makes you feel dark or heavy? What color just always feels a bit off?
When I started getting dressed for myself after kids my body was nowhere near where I wanted it to be. I mean it still isn’t! But what actually helped me feel confident & unstoppable (& lose a little bit of weight…) was buying clothes that FIT RIGHT NOW! Honoring and loving my body as it is today. And let’s be real, sizing across brands is absolutely ridiculous so there’s no way I’m tying my self worth to a seemingly random letter or number on a tag. Are you with me??
Today is the special occasion! I mean part of this is I buy clothes that fit my lifestyle today, not my life before kids where I worked in an office and went out every weekend. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have nice things that make me feel incredible…and wear them on a random Tuesday when I may only be taking a trip to Costco.
On repeat for the folks in the back…do. not. settle! If it’s not a 10, if it doesn’t bring an immediate smile to my face and make me want to do a little dance in the mirror - it’s a no. It’s hard but believe me, it’s worth it.
And I’m here for you! I try A LOT of styles so you don’t have to. Make sure you’re subscribed to have posts sent straight to your Inbox.
When my kids were toddlers I thought it would get easier when they were finally in school. Now that they’re both in school it’s still hard but in a different way. So my point is the best time it start is right now. Start small. Start messy. But just start. And if you’re like me, you’ll wish you started sooner.
I love my happy little corner of the Internet, come join us!
x, Claire
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