What It's like to be Itchy Everyday

The first day of being itchy is something everyone can relate to. A mosquito bite, an allergic reaction to animal dander, or perhaps freshly mowed grass - it's a temporary annoyance. The nerves in the skin signal the brain that there is an irritant on the body. This triggers the evolved response to physically remove it with your finger nails which is as automatic as removing your hand from a hot stove. It's completely understandable to have trouble with your daily responsibilities when dealing with an acute itch.

By day three, the annoyance has grown into a small crisis. You might decide to seek medical help or call in sick from work or school. Most people will be accommodating of the situation that being itchy for so long has caused. You're sleep deprived from being itchy so now focusing on work is extremely difficult.

After a few weeks people will begin to lose patience with you. They’re frustrated that you’re neglecting your responsibilities so they bombard you with suggestions to fix the problem you now embody: Why don't you just stop scratching? Have you tried this expensive cream or bathing in oatmeal? I had a cousin with eczema who put some coconut oil on it and it went away. My child grew out of eczema when they got older. Have you tried radically altering everything about your life including what you eat and where you live? please stop scratching, it's bothering me see this.

Depending on your financial situation and your access to doctors and specialists, the next part may take anywhere from a few weeks to a few years. Only the core of your social/family group will tolerate you since not having a "real job” without an acceptable reason is unforgivable. You try every affordable steroid cream and allergy treatment in a vain attempt to make the invisible ants leave you alone. By now the scratching has taken its toll on your sleep and your appearance. Your executive function is non-existent. Eyebrows are patchy tufts of uneven hair that barely keep the dead skin on your scalp and forehead from getting in your eyes. A parent scolds their child for pointing and staring at you on the bus. Job interviews mysteriously end in being ghosted once they see you in person.

What’s next? I’m afraid to find out. Every doctor, therapist, traditional medicine doctor, and specialist has given me the same advice. I’m supposed to reduce my stress levels and live in a place where I can be free from my food, pet, and environmental allergies. Those things require a lot of money I don’t have and to earn that money would require some level of respite I can’t afford. For now, the best plan my insomnia addled brain can come up with is to keep writing until the lights go out and the inevitable eviction plays out.