Spiritual Practice - What To Do When Caught in a Perfect Storm

It’s been a perfect storm of a week. Grieving Tom, clearing out his room at the care home, juggling phone calls, making arrangements with Church, funeral home and those who hopefully will attend the service. I thank God for the friends who have been with me and supported me every step of the way. At the same time, there is a major work going on at the house. It started before Tom died and there was no way to pause it without creating even more chaos. Then my computer crashed so next week requires an unexpected visit to the local Apple Store. Grief alone can be overwhelming without all else that has been poured on top of it.

Everything takes twice as long as usual. Unexpected flashes of memory or bursts of tears punctuate everything. At the least they distract. At the most they temporarily stop me in my tracks. Like the photos above. The sweatshirt is the first gift Tom ever gave me and I still have the embroidered panel which I came across unexpectedly this week. People keep telling me I am coping very well. At times it doesn’t always feel like it but most of the time I think they are right.

I realize there are a number of spiritual practices that are part of my rhythm of life that certainly help me maintain a fairly good equilibrium at this time. Most of these I have talked about before and I know you will hear about them again but here is a brief snapshot of what I find most helpful.

Breath prayers are the way I start my day. Imagining the spirit of God inhaled and exhaled into and out if my body each time I breathe is awe inspiring. Breath I see increasingly is one of the major ways we interact with God. The thought of the breath of God hovering over the chaos and breathing the entire creation into being gives me life.

Awe and wonder walks around the garden and through the neighbourhood each day listening, looking, taking notice of the beauty, the diversity, the intricate details of what I encounter stir my soul with a wonderful sense of God’s presence.

Circling prayers and imagery. In John O’Donohue’s book Anam Cara he says that “God is the biggest circle of all, the largest embrace in the universe, which holds visible and invisible, temporal and eternal together as one.” I sit and contemplate that sentence each morning imagining the loving embrace of God encompassing me, Tom and all those we love living and dead in an eternal embrace. We are all, together with creation, enclosed in this amazing circle of God’s love. It is so comforting.

Holding grief and gratitude in balance. Each wave of grief is associated with special memories of Tom, memories that are rising to the surface and overcoming the memories of his final days. As I recount stories, share memories and offer gratitude I find Tom becomes even more special.

Quiet retreat time. I am writing this from Circlewood on Camano Island, my favourite retreat destinations at the moment. I am coming here once a month and am enjoying the quiet serenity as a place to journal, process what had happened and just allow the healing power of nature to be absorbed into my being.

Solidifying memories. I am journaling every day, capturing not just the memories of the day but also the the remembrances they invoke. Have even started a special new journal in which to capture them.

I realize I am only just beginning this journey of grief. There is lots to come. Lots to unpack lots to both mourn and give thanks for but I am sure that these practices will continue to carry me through the ups and downs of the journey that lies ahead.

What are the practices you find most useful during times of stress?