Refillable Nesters

Well. I did another thing.

I told you, about a week ago, about my poor impulse control, and the Facebook post I saw looking for people with poor impulse control. And how I immediately responded to it. Well, it worked.

This Friday, a foreign exchange student from Bavaria is coming to live with us for eight months. For now, I will call her C. Since she is a minor and not blood of my blood, I probably shouldn’t drag her in here and force her to be a character in my long running drama. She can choose name and involvement after we have met in person.

But, she is definitely proof of my hair-trigger decision making. I saw the post on the 11^th and here we are. I was also traveling when this happened and began looking into it before having a sit-down with my husband (who is fine with this, in case you are wondering. He’s practical, but with a sense of adventure).

Part of my decision process was trying to send a message to Jim, saying “Do we need an exchange student?” But instead of Jim, I sent it to the local FB group. I was drinking wine when this happened and not exactly in the moment.

But when you send that as a response to the person who is re-homing kids two weeks before school starts, like it’s the end of the week for puppies in a kill shelter? It sounds like you have just asked her, “Why are you even doing this? We don’t need no foreigners here.” The internet already hides context, and it becomes worse when you send private chat to the wrong person.

I immediately sent a follow up ‘I am not a xenophobe’ message, and DMed her to say we were getting ready to apply. Doing that involved pictures and references and credit and background checks for us. And suddenly, C went from probably spending the year at home to packing her bags for a move to a smaller than small Wisconsin town that she’d never heard of.

I like her sense of adventure.

A lot of the application process involved pretending we were normal. Because, we are not. I assured her parents that we were ‘weird but harmless.’ It’s the most charitable way to describe us. She will not be staying with an average American family. Whether we are above or below average remains to be seen.

Most Americans don’t live in a church (or impulse buy them, which is kind of how I made an offer on our house). But if you move into a weird and hard-to-sell house in a small town, you get a deal, and end up looking like you live in a mansion.

Most people who offer to host a student have kids. Or students who have been through the school system. Or at least know a bunch of families with kids, or have some friends in church with teens, or do something other than staying in their windowless home, refusing to go out in public if a train or plane or movie theater is involved.

I figure, this will be an excellent way for us to get to know people. Because I’m not going to force this girl to live in a box in the basement. She’s going to have the adventure she wants.

If I am to believe the packet that comes with the application, most houses have rules. I might need to get some of those. Like listening to music only on headphones. Is that a thing? Because it was on the worksheet. Whose music is that for? Is she not supposed to annoy me with modern stuff? More likely, I will be annoying her with my Bauhaus/Taylor Swift/showtunes, playlists.

They are very clear in all the packets that you are to treat the teen not as a guest but as a member of the family. This will be a challenge for both of us.

In the brief video call on Sunday, I asked her if she drinks coffee.

She said yes.

I told her we don’t drink coffee or beer (though we drink everything else but won’t be gicing her any). Being an adult who doesn’t drink coffee and a Wisconsinite that doesn’t drink beer takes us out to the bleeding edge of all the bell curves. I assured her there would be a coffee maker for her.

She assured me that wouldn’t be necessary.

Good try. I am treating her like family. So, I ignored her. Did you know, they make one cup coffee makers that can switch between pods and grounds and have a frother attachment. And can make tea and hot chocolate. And that, if you get it in the unpopular color that will match your kitchen, are $30 cheaper than black or silver ones? And that they will arrive before the exchange student?

I do not know which excites me more: a new friend in the guest room, or the fact that I might be able to have frothy hot chocolate or chai. I have plans for this machine. And, as I have said before, poor impulse control.

She is eager to celebrate holidays, like an American. So am I. But remember the PIC (poor impulse control)? We have a lot of decorations. And last year, some guy who also had PIC was probably getting a divorce and selling his stuff and we bought a fraction of it and now have a twelve foot skeleton and two matching skeleton dogs? And the dragon skull in the living room stays up all year and is decorated for Christmas.

Like I said, weird but harmless. And about to have an adventure.

If you would also like to have an adventure, Follow my Substack for YOU DON’T KNOW DRAC.