Caveat Emptor

Tales from the road.

I arrived safely in The Berkshires and now have, at least a vague idea of what and where they are. It took very little time to get from New York to Massachusetts. It took even less time to day trip from Massachusetts to Vermont. Cory, who grew up here, assures me that settlements were arranged in valleys between mountains, which explains some of the small states around here.

Speaking as a Wisconsinite, it is eye-opening for many reasons. I am hanging out in the original thirteen colonies for a week. These people had no idea what they were getting themselves into when they formed a country. It looks to me like they said, “I’ve got a couple of people here. Let’s be Rhode Island.

“We arrived together. We’re gonna be Vermont. Massachusetts? Stay on your side of that line.”

By the time anyone got to settling my part of the country. It seemed more like they said, “Lake here. River There. How far south do we have to ride to find enough people to make this worth the effort?”

The further west you go, the more land they needed to make a convincing state. With Texas and California? They just got tired of drawing borders and used everything that was left.

Yes, I know it is more complicated than that. There was an entire show (that I should have watched) about how states got their shapes.

Still, it blows my mind that we can casually be in three states in an afternoon. And that many of the roads look similar to what we call in Wisconsin “Up North.” Except the landscape is not gently rolling hills. These trees are lining roads that seem to go 45 degrees straight up with drop offs on one side, looking out on distant blue mountains.

Wisconsin has one mountain. It is technically a hill.

Wisconsin also has rocks, which I am quite proud of. But they are sandstone, laid down in neat, horizontal layers.

Here, the rocks are slate and granite, and the strata are sharply angled from when these mountains came shooting up from the bowels of the earth.

A long time ago, I was a geology major for a year, because I liked rocks and dinosaurs. I still like rocks and dinosaurs, but after a year of studying them, I realized that they were found outside, in dirt. Studying them would require sensible shoes and sunscreen and getting sweaty. I can do that last one just by walking from the car to the house. I don’t think I want to do it for a living.

I also don’t think they automatically give junior geologists a job away from direct sunlight. You probably have to break a lot of rocks before they let you go inside.

If you switch to theater costuming and library science (which I did), you are almost guaranteed a room in the basement.

But this week, I visited the outdoors. We went to the top of Mount Greylock, which I strongly recommend as a starter mountain. You can drive (or be driven) almost to the top. The summit is a short walk from the parking lot, and I was able to do to it, even with a cane, a limp, and having made no effort to increase my embarrassingly low daily step goals to be ready. The air is fresh. The view is nice. The local wildflowers are slightly different than my regional wildflowers.

Today, Cory drove us up the Mohawk Trail to see the Hairpin Curve. This appears to be on a miscellaneous mountain. An internet search gives me vague answers about where I was. There are enough mountains here that the locals weren’t too worked up about labeling. I suppose this is why I am in THE Berkshires. That might have been A Berkshire, and I will have to embrace the range and stop overthinking it.

If it had been Wisconsin? We get so excited about heights we name rocks. If we were presented by a mountain range, local geographers and map makers would have had such an orgy of christening that they would never recover.

Along with altitude, the towns in the area tend to small colleges, quaint shops and lots of abandoned mills. As with lots of other places in the United States, industry has moved on from here and villages are looking for other ways to attract money. Conveniently located mountains and deciduous trees help a lot if you want tourists. It is quiet here now, but things are probably different in fall.

We have leaves at home. We also have cheese and maple syrup. Game recognizes game, Berkshires. I am in you, eating your cheese and enjoying the maple creemee (The Apple Barn) and am properly impressed. I also ate at The Blue Benn diner, which has breakfast potatoes so good I would happily cross the country again just to get more.

The Blue Benn is also a converted railroad diner car. I have eaten in diner cars multiple times this week, already. But they are modern diner cars and they are also still moving. I do not know if this makes them more or less fun, but The Blue Benn definitely gave them a run for their money and had an excellent juke box.

The Amtrak car had a server who was singing, which was the same and yet different.

And today, Cory took us to an antique store that had a coffee shop antique store combo that had multiple rooms and booths to appeal to every possible taste. I found something that was both easy to pack and an important addition to any home.

I have no intention of getting chickens. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t stay vigilant.

If you’re on the lookout for something, why not try following my Kickstarter?