You Are Not Your Book Launch

(Where Are You? I’m Christina Rivera, author of MY OCEANS: Essays of Water, Whales, and Women, and MobyBytes is my series of “blue love notes” exploring the kinship of bodies of water and beings. Thanks for signing up for this irregular email in your inbox!)

I just received this question via DM (and decided entertaining the question would be a welcome break from drowning in the messy middle of my novel in progress):

Even though I poked fun at the ego-death that follows a book launch, the truth is that I very much survived it all, with my sleep, health, and self-concept (or lack of) intact. I don’t congratulate myself on much, but I’m proud of my book launch. Mostly because I refused to let it own or claim me.

With the MY OCEANS book events finally petering out, this feels like a nice time to reflect on the journey. And to be clear, I think these tips apply to anyone wanting to hold onto their inner peace through a tumultuous (even if celebratory) occasion.

• Keep some things to yourself (in a rebellious way). I had an entire calendar of events surrounding my book launch (that would ultimately span more than ten months), but the actual DAY of my book launch? I kept that day ALL for myself. Did top secret, me-celebratory things, in the ways I like them. I earned that day, and I wasn’t going to risk losing it to sky-high social expectations. So I just kept it all to myself. No regrets.

• Pace yourself, and plan mental vacations. Three months from my book launch date, I blocked off two full months for a “mental vacation” from my book. Turned on my email auto-responder. Posted to my social accounts, “see ya in two months,” and logged all the way off. I returned my attention and presence to the rest of my life. I’m certain my book sales tanked, but I (still) don’t care. When I came back to my inbox, it was full of invitations; I said yes to everything and hit the promotions road again, fresh and energized, not burned out, and authentically excited to talk about the book again.

• Track your internal goals and be open to inconceivable connections. Fuck the external goals you have no control over. Pay attention to the internal ones you do. Did I need a starred review from PW? No. Who cares? Not you. Not me. But did someone in my recent UCBerkeley audience email me a link to a studio album she thought paired well with my reading? And did that video move me to tears, and did I, in turn, share it with all my girlfriends? Was that connection worth more than a listless institutional book review? Guess.

  (Ps. Here’s more of my “Book Launching Moments That (Actually) Mattered.”

• Don’t sacrifice your life, family, or mental health. I can’t think of anything worth those sacrifices. So just don’t. I could have planned a much more extensive book tour, but that sounded expensive, thin, and depleting (for my introverted ennegram 5w4 self). Instead, I did more in-state bookstore events and went online for the rest (panels, readings, book clubs, interviews, online conferences, etc.). Zooms were easy to fit into my life alongside a strict 9pm bedtime and early morning writing sessions. So know yourself, do the things that make that self happy, and give the middle finger to the rest. I mean, also challenge yourself to some new or scary things you’ve never done before. Try things on. Feel out if they are you (or not!), and find your own adventuring style. (Oh, and definitely take beta-blockers if you need them for public stages. Those really recalibrated my history of stage fright and took the unnecessary adrenaline out of being handed a microphone.)

• Fill your bucket. Writing, reading, and being outdoors fill my bucket. I know this because every time I do one of these things, my Stresswatch buzzes me and says, “Whatever you’re doing right now, it’s making you VERY calm and relaxed and is giving you the strength to confront inevitable challenges.” So listen to your watch (which is literally listening to your heart), and fill your bucket. 15 minutes at a time. Every chance you get.

• Keep it human and hold to your values. If it’s not fun or meaningful, don’t do it. Did I go on the Dr. Phil show when invited? Hell no. He’s a duche. Did I melt into a puddle at a local women’s book club as we collectively cried over our ancestry of sexual assault? Hell yes. I love vulnerability. I love unsolicited tears. When the book opens those kind of portals, I’m walking through them.

• Keep expectations in check (or low). If it’s a book journey you’re after, definitely read the book bibles: Jane Friedman’s The Business of Being a Writer, Courtney Maum’s Before & After the Book Deal (here’s some more writing and craft books). Authors will tell you there’s no money in the book business, and you will hope you’re different, and you (very likely) won’t be. But there’s merit to that too: Being humbled. Keeping the joys simple. Making art to make art.

• Invest in spiritual or mental health practices. Other authors will tell you to double up on your counseling sessions, which is probably a great option (one I couldn’t afford). Instead, I spaced out (Buddhist) retreats (offline and online) over the last few years, and set up monthly/weekly online sanghas (small spiritual community gatherings) and an (almost daily) short meditation practice. You know what’s especially great for getting over your ego? Meditating on death and impermanence. ;)

• Remember, you’re enough. Write it out. Put it on a wall. Light a candle under it. Don’t let it go up in flames.

My head is submerged (think toilet swirlie, except I’m the bully of myself) in my novel WIP right now. As exemplified in my reading of the snow prints in our little yard ice rink this week:

If you like to dance at the intersection of the literary world and engaged Buddhism, you might be as thrilled as I was to turn up the volume on this episode of The Way Out featuring conversation between Zen Buddhist monk Brother Phap Huu and (very) special guest Ocean Vuong, (Vietnamese American poet, essayist, and novelist):

I might have some spring and summer literary conference announcements, but in the meantime, this is my one live upcoming event (before I go into winter hibernation mode to FINISH THIS *4th* NOVEL DRAFT!)

*I’m particularly humbled to be invited to Trident as part of their Author Series, as Trident was one of my primary tea-drinking and blogging haunts back in my Boulder days. I love full circles.

Quick reminder: I’m pulling bird divination cards for thank-you notes to all “founding” subscribers. Support a fledgling writer this holiday season and let me pick a card for you. Just put your mailing address in when you subscribe, and I’ll send you a beautiful bird along with a few words of my gratitude.

Yes! I will help power the prose!

Thank you for reading.

From my blue heart to yours,

Christina

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