The Mom Test

By Corinne Johnson, Executive Director, Child First Policy Center

We talk a lot here about the research behind kids needing more independence and less screen time. This week, one of our own team members put that research to the test in real life. Here’s what happened when her kids asked for a lot more trust than she expected to give.

One of the first things I did as an advocate for child-first policies was read The Anxious Generation. Like so many parents, I was struck by Jon Haidt (Johnathan Haidt’s) argument that children need more real-world responsibility, age-appropriate independence, and opportunities to reach important developmental milestones. Jordan Peterson has made a similar point for years: children need the chance to “do dangerous things safely”. That is how they build confidence, resilience, and competence.

Reading about those ideas is one thing. Living them is another.

As parents, it’s our job to worry about our kids. I grew up with this kind of freedom and it was a great way to grow up. But let’s be honest, we live in a different world than the one many of us grew up in. Finding moments where we actually feel comfortable stepping back and letting our children explore their independence isn’t easy. We worry about pushing them too far. We worry about what could happen. We even worry about being judged by other parents—or that one “Karen” who thinks children should never be allowed to do anything on their own.

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Then one Sunday, my kids sprang a last-minute idea on me.

They wanted to drive down to St. George with their sister, spend an entire week at their apartment without us, and then ride the Salt Lake Express home by themselves.

My “mom test” had arrived.

I had to set aside every fear, every “what if,” and trust that my 11-year-old and 14-year-old had the skills, maturity, and responsibility to handle this adventure and I only had 30 minutes to decide.

I’m so grateful we said yes.

They absolutely rose to the occasion.

They cooked meals, cleaned the apartment, helped their sisters, found creative ways to spend their time, and never complained about being bored. Then they navigated a six-hour ride shuttle ride home.

And here’s the part that makes me smile the most…

They did all of it without tablets, iPads, or constant digital entertainment. My oldest had only a flip phone.

They didn’t need screens to survive.

They needed trust.

Our kids don’t need to be entertained or supervised every waking minute. They need parents who are willing—when it’s appropriate—to believe in them, give them responsibility, and let them discover what they’re capable of.

This was one of those proud mom moments I’ll never forget.

More than anything, I’m grateful for the growing movement that has challenged parents like me to think differently about childhood. It gave me the courage to let go just enough for my children to discover they were far more capable than I imagined.

The best part?

They’re already planning their next week of adventure in St. George.

That’s exactly what childhood should look like.

What’s your “mom test” been?
Reply and tell us about a moment you decided to trust your kids with more independence than felt comfortable.

Join us as we pass policies that put children first in the digital age.
–Child First Policy Center