THE THINGS WE DON'T ALWAYS SAY OUT LOUD

After I shared my first post here, I kept thinking about this…..

Most of us are carrying insecurities.

Even the women who look confident. Even the women who seem successful, capable, and sure of themselves. Even the women who have lived a lot of life, raised families, built careers, served others, and shown up again and again.

Today in church I sat next to a dear neighbor friend of mine. We actually share the same birthday. She is in her 80’s, and I’ve always been so drawn to her because she reminds me a lot of my mama.

As we sat together, she told me with tears in her eyes that she wasn’t feeling very good about her self-worth. It took me back a little bit, because in her 80’s you would think that wouldn’t be a thing.

When I look at her, I see one of the most Christ-like women I know. She is always willing to help others, and she does it with such joy. She has a smile on her face. She notices people. She stays engaged and connected with others. She brings light into the room. She’s amazing.

But there she was, feeling unsure of her own value.

I felt for her. I’ve felt this way too…. and for whatever reason it’s normal if I have those feelings, but to someone in your life who seems they have it all together, these feelings shouldn’t exist? I’m learning that no matter our age…. we all know what it feels like to question ourselves.

From the outside, we can appear to have it all together. We know how to show up for our people and sometimes fake it, but we just keep going. I’ve actually had so many women say this to me…… that I exude confidence! What?? This has been the case since I was a teenager.

But underneath, it’s quite different, and I do keep so many things to myself….. as I’m learning most people do.

One of the greatest gifts of connecting with women online has been discovering how much we actually have in common. Different lives, different circumstances, different stories… but so many of the same feelings.

Aging is challenging. Some days I feel strong and grateful and very much myself. Other days, I notice all the changes. I feel the uncertainty. I wonder if I’m enough.

But today was such a sweet reminder to me that self-worth is something women of every age can wrestle with. Even women who are beautiful examples of goodness.

This is why we need each other so much!

I want this space to be a place where we can get honest about what’s inside. Because the truth is, we are all carrying something. And maybe when we say it out loud, it feels a little less heavy.

~Shauna XO