The Genius Who Couldn’t Count to Four

Let’s talk about Albert Einstein.

I’m sure you’ve seen the black-and-white photos of the man with his electrified halo of white hair, his deep eyes, the off-gray sweatshirt that looks like it was fished out of a septic tank. He’s the man who saw into the cosmos and revealed how gravity actually works.

That’s the serious part. Put the Nobel Prize aside, ignore for the moment his Princeton professorship, drop gravity on its nose, and let’s take a close look at his wonderfully eccentric and often fun quirks.

Let’s start at the bottom, with Einstein’s feet: the man who gave us E=mc^2 would never wear socks.

Why? From my research, I learned he stopped as a young man because his big toes wore holes in them and it was easier and less time-consuming to just throw the whole concept of socks into the trash rather than darning them or buying new ones.

When he had to go to formal events, he’d just wear high boots to cover his bare ankles. And if he couldn’t find his sandals? He’d casually walk out the door wearing his wife Elsa’s sling-back women’s shoes.

Einstein smoked a pipe the way a chimney consumes oak logs. When he was older of course his doctors insisted that he cut back on the tobacco for health reasons. So, what did the father of general relativity do? He started scavenging discarded cigarette butts on the ground. He pick ‘em up, harvest the leftover tobacco from the paper, and then stuff it into his pipe. Problem solved. No wonder he earned a PhD in physics!

Thought he wasn’t Italian and didn’t work his way through college as an Olive Garden waiter, he loved spaghetti.

He also hated cooking and cleaning up afterwards. So again, to save time, when he hankered for an egg, he’d simply crack one directly into a bowl of hot soup and call it a day.

You about to ask, what did he do for fun? This is cool: Einstein relaxed by building card houses. He wasn’t a slouch at it, either. With his hyper-focused intensity, he’d balance the pasteboard until he built a 14-story cardboard skyscraper wobbling on his desk.

Einstein loved Mozart. Every morning before walking to Princeton, he played the violin to kickstart his brain. Interestingly and humanizingly, Dr. E. was a mediocre violin player because he couldn’t keep time. He actually struggled with counting the rhythm. The genius who unlocked the secrets of TIME couldn’t count to four on a sheet of music.

It would be easy to define Einstein with the absent-minded professor label because he regularly forgot his house keys, often forgot his own address, and once spent an entire afternoon lecturing to companions about relativity because his sailboat got stuck in a dead calm on a lake and he had nothing else to do. Oh, yeah, the record reports that Dr. E was also a lousy sailor though he loved to sail and didn’t let his lack of skills stop him.

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Of course there’s a real lesson in Einstein’s madness, as there is in the quirks most of us either hide or flaunt.

I know you’d never suspect it, but I actually have a quirk or two myself, especially regarding clothes. Since Ellen died in 2019, I’ve worn a button-down shirt exactly one time… for my grandson’s high school graduation a few weeks ago. Other than that instance of what I now think of as “dressing up,” my go-to attire consists of a cotton t-shirt with a pocket (Fruit of The Loom Mens Pocket Tee Undershirts, Moisture Wicking & Tag Free, Short Sleeve Pocket T-Shirts, 6 for $19.93) and either a pair of short pants or blue jeans. Running shoes for me feet, white cotton socks for me toes. Lest you think me eccentric, I change shirts every single day (and socks, too) and I wash and dry my clothes every Friday.

I think our behavior in life often boils down to efficiency. I know mine does. You can beat the drums with the rest of the tribe… or you can say the hell with the accepted way of living and behaving and follow your mind and heart.

That’s what I believe Einstein did. He aggressively eliminated the noise and nonsense so he could focus on his work and what made him happy.

His head looked like a coked-out bird’s nest because haircuts took too long. He wore the same gray sweatshirt every day because choosing an outfit was a waste of brainpower. He slept ten hours a night and took regular power naps because sleep helped him think more clearly.

He saved every watt of his mental battery for the things he cared about.

I think of this as the Einstein Method for Life. You’re not lazy; you’re conserving your fuel for the big stuff.

I don’t, however, recommend picking cig butts off the ground.

Next week, I plan to take a close look at how some pranksters on Reddit outwitted DuckDuckGo’s AI. Whoa!

Chet

P.S. Hit the comments and let me know: What is your absolute weirdest personal habit or quirk that helps you get through the day? Don’t be shy—if Einstein can wear women’s shoes, you can confess your quirks to me. And if you don’t want to confess, please share this issue with a friend or family member who is into general relativity or the nature of Time.