When this topic came to mind for writing about, my brain momentarily stalled out.
How could I possibly find words to express how marvelous friendships can be?
Acknowledging that this topic is quite beyond me, this is my attempt.
Friends have been to me the most enduring of loves. To say I am grateful is woefully inadequate. It’s more than that. Friends have helped to make me who I am. They have hung in with me during dark times, and made the happy times much brighter. I really would not be the person I am, except for the support I have received from friends. This goes way back.
It was grade 3. My family had moved to a small town at the start of the school year.
A girl went to choir practice with me on Thursdays. We laughed a lot whenever we were together. She lived only a couple of blocks from me, but our friendship initially was just those Thursdays.
Then one day at choir practice I asked, “Would you like to be everyday friends instead of just Thursday friends?” She said, “Yes”, and so began a friendship that has lasted 65 years and is still going strong, and still full of laughter, even though we are living at the opposite sides of the country for decades now.
Even though friends can bring out the best in us, self-improvement, or the improvement of others is not the goal of friendships. The goal is both more simple and deeper than that. According to David Brooks, author of “How to Know a Person” the purpose of friendship is to see deeply and be deeply seen.
All the arts resonate with this. Writing, painting, dancing, creativity in any form takes a piece of you and says, “Here I am! See me!” This is good! We were not meant to live alone.
I hope you have friends. Even just a couple of people who really know you, and love you in spite of that. I suggest making a point of telling them what this means in your world, you won’t be sorry.
We are all uniquely flawed. We need people in our lives who recognize both our flaws and our ways of shining. They light up our lives.
“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words” C.S. Lewis
Friends don’t have to fit into just one category. Perhaps your family is your friends? That’s good too. Do what needs to be done to stay connected. And furry friends – oh yes – they count too.
If life has done things that have gotten in the way of you having friends, I would encourage you to reach out.
I recommend David Brooks excellent book on this topic, “How to Know a Person” to enrich your understanding of the life skill of having friends.
Having worthwhile friendships requires some things.
First of all, it requires courage. The courage to reach out and the courage to let yourself be seen and known. You can tiptoe into this. You can spend some time with someone and gradually let them know you. See how it goes and whether you consider them trustworthy before sharing more of yourself.
And the second requirement – time.
As Georgia O’Keeffe put it, “No one sees a flower, not really. To see a flower takes time, like to have a friend takes time.”
These requirements, courage and time, are worth the investment. Having friends in your life that bless you, having friends in your life that consider you a blessing to them, is priceless.
There are few things that can enhance your life as much as good friendships do. Life throws stuff at all of us and having friends to share with makes the journey ever so much easier. Old friends and new friends - all jewels to be treasured. Perhaps there is someone you know who would like to be everyday friends? Best question I ever asked.
After all, we are all just walking each other home.
The following song I dedicate to my friends and art students. Thanks for sharing the dance of this life with me. We lift each other up when we stumble, and laugh together on the way.
“Better Together by Jack Jackson”
Yours for a kinder and more creative world,
Cheryl O Art
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