The Full Picture

You’ve been listening. Here’s how to go deeper.

If you’ve found yourself thinking about this story after the episode ends — turning it over, wondering about the people in it, wanting to see what I’m seeing — this is for you.

Cold and Blue is free to listen to. It will always be free to listen to. But there’s a whole other layer to this investigation that I can’t fit into audio alone.

The photos. The documents. The records I’ve requested and received. The pieces of paper that make this story real in a way that words sometimes can’t.

When I’m sitting with a document that connects two people who were never supposed to be connected, or a photograph of someone who has no idea I exist — that feeling is something I want to share with the people who are really in this with me.

That’s what the paid tier is. It’s $5 a month. (Cancel anytime) It’s the full picture, literally.

Every episode has supporting materials attached — photos, archival documents, records — that appear automatically on the episode page when you subscribe. You refresh the page and they’re just there, waiting for you.

If this story matters to you the way it matters to me, come a little closer.

Saturday’s episode will feature my sister Kate and her story and how it fits into mine, that episode will have photos that have never been posted before.

I decided to post a few photos for free so you can see what I mean.

My Mom and the sperm doner on their wedding day. Me pouring Jonah’s ashes in the runaway pathway.