Working on a team can be hard when you have different ways of thinking and communicating. We can use team agreements to get more aligned, but what if we really understood what each individual on the team might need? Instead of fighting to be accommodated or inadvertently getting in the way of other people’s needs, we’d have insight into how to best communicate and recognise one another’s strengths, styles, and needs.
A “Working with Me” guide gives your team good intel about what you need, appreciate, and clues them into areas where there could be conflict. It’s also a great self-reflection tool, to notice some patterns in yourself and to find out how to support yourself at work.
You can do this even if you’re not working. Do it as a workshop with other people or on your own. You learn so much about yourself and others! In the end, you’ll have a fantastic resource for yourself and to share with other people so that you can collaborate more easily and effectively.
Tests: Personality or working style frameworks
Outreach: Feedback from others
Vision, Mission, Values
Questions
First, assemble any personality or working style tests you have taken. Examples are Clifton Strengths Finder, DiSC, Enneagram, Zones of Genius, Meyers-Briggs, Process Communication Model, etc. None of these are complete or perfectly accurate representations of who you are (and are probably pseudoscience) but they are all great frameworks for discussion and comparison.
Send this message to three people who you’ve worked with closely and trust:
Hi ___.
I’m writing a little “guide for working with me” and I would appreciate it if you could answer these questions:
1. What are the ways people working with me can best support me?
2. What did you notice about working with me that could help other people communicate well with me?
Write out your personal mission, vision, values, and purpose. How do you get those?
Mission statement
A mission statement is a one-liner that hones in on what you do. It’s not aspirational, it’s what you are actually doing and why. A standard format for a mission statement looks like: I [action / verb] by [key activities / how] in order to [outcome / desired results] You might also want to include who you are in service to, if it’s relevant.
For example, if you work with kids, then you might have a mission like “I teach (action) preschool-age children (who for) the skills to think like an artist (how you do it) so that the world will be full of creative thinkers (outcome).”
Vision
A vision statement is a short description of the world you are working to co-create. It’s often an expansion on the outcome part of your mission statement. A personal vision statement might also be described as your purpose. Typically these are quite short, a sentence or even a sentence fragment.
Though the statement is short, to get to a vision statement, you can do some expansive thinking and even meditation-like exercises to feel into what a vision might look like.
Consider the BRAVE goal framework offered by AIME Mentoring: make this vision Big, Risky, Audacious, Visionary, and Endless.
Do the following meditation:
First, picture yourself in a place that brings you joy. Notice what it feels like to be there. What do you see, hear, smell, feel? The more senses you can engage, the better.
Next, imagine yourself in 20 years if all goes well. (If you feel like you’re too close to the end of life to go 20 years into the future, then try 10). What will you be doing? Who will you be spending time with? Where will you be? What is your home like?
Let that future self tell you what they are most proud of having done in the last 20 years. What has brought them joy? What have they contributed to in the world?
Now picture yourself in 5 years. What have you been up to? What has changed in your life? What have you done to contribute? How has your life changed?
Write down some of what you notice from doing this exercise. Not just the goals themselves but the way you felt in going through the exercise.
Other questions to help you with vision and mission
What has been a through-line of the things you’ve been excited or passionate about in your life?
What would you sacrifice to make your vision come true?
What difference would make you the most happy to have made in the world?
Now, for your vision, write a couple of sentences that describe the purpose you connect to. Then edit that down to just the essentials. Challenge yourself to make this fit in 150 characters or less!
Values
We all have many different values, some of which are situational. And yet each of us has a few consistent, guiding star values that inform our decisions about almost everything. For this exercise, first go through either of these lists of values and circle any that feel like they are essential to who you are. You can also add values that are not on these lists.
Next, whittle your list to 3-5 values. These are not just ones you agree with, they are non-negotiable ways you live your life. You are the exemplar of these values, and every time you need to make a decision, these values impact it in some way.
Now, it’s time to answer some questions.
How can people build trust with you?
What communication methods do you prefer? How do you like to receive feedback?
What gives you energy?
What drains your energy?
What do people misunderstand about you?
How can people you work with help you?
What does your behaviour look like when you are stressed or overwhelmed? How can others spot your anxiety or burnout?
It’s time to put all of it together.
Use this template, and edit and present it however you like. If you’re more visual, you may want to add images or diagrams, or make a deck. Have fun with it. What aspects of your personality can you infuse even in the presentation? You can also use the Manual of Me format.
Now you have an amazing way to help other people help you fulfill your purpose and collaborate effectively. This is a living document, keep updating it as you go through life. Get feedback, and keep sharing it as you work with new people.
Remember that this is a guide, it’s not a rulebook. We can ask for what supports us and also recognise that sometimes there is tension between what we need and what others need or are available for. Knowing ourselves well gives us the opportunity to take full responsibility for our behaviour and communication.
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May this be a restful and rejuvenating time.
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