What if We Could All Throw Hands?

After delivering my morning tea, the man who I have affectionately called "New White Bae" answered a call.  We would then watch a video of Will Smith slapping the shit out of Chris Rock at the urging of "New White Bae's" best friend, Mike. Mike calls in a frenzy this morning...something like, bruh...Will Smith slapped the shit out of Chris rock on the Oscar's last night.  You ain't see that shit? --I'm paraphrasing.

"I'm sending you the video."

I am still excavating myself from bed at this time, but even in my haze, I see something peculiar when I peer up and over the screen.

That shit ain't real, I say.

I got the same gut feeling when I heard the nigga/noose/Subway/”Smooliet” story.

No-to the-way.

I watched the video two more times after that trying to see what I had seen again, and I saw it. A smirk on Will's face as he returned to his seat. Satisfaction or sacrifice? I wondered.

I talked to Gramps (official nickname) a couple of times after he left for work. At this time, adamantly stating my position, "It was staged"...but I don't think all the players knew their roles.

On goes my morning.  I do a little work, have a couple of cups of tea.

I talk to Tommy again and get ready for my therapy session.

First thing—My therapist asks me how I'm doing this fine morning where people slap people on national TV?—I’m paraphrasing again.

So we talk about it, and as I am talking, I note news cycles and how today we are focused on THIS after Black Twitter successfully trended #Oscarssowhite on this day in past years—today we wake up to memes and video loops of Will, Jada and Chris...three of our shining stars and Black culture icons no matter how they have faltered and how the media spins it, focusing on the "violence" of this moment.

I keep talking and I hear myself in my head before I verbally mention the confirmation hearings. I say, we are focused on this today after collectively watching the hearings last week and watching Supreme Court Nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson remain poised in the face of extreme violence, disrespect, triggering, condescension, passive, overt, micro and macro agressions.

It's the same premise as the argument for more guns rather than fewer. If we were all armed and empowerment to use the same force against one another in all cases, would violence swell or quell?

So I asked myself and my therapist, "Are they connected?"

I am now convinced after a more careful analysis of the event in question, not those that have come after, that they most certainly are and that this was always a performance...on someone's part.

In addition to like—everyone else in my feeds, I have seen a few people who I greatly respect speak on this this afternoon...one being my former professor Sandra Jackson- Opoku, who referenced Rock's 2009, documentary, Good Hair. Point proven that the detriment of hair shaming/discrimination is not lost on this particular man. He has a greater responsibility than to make that tasteless joke whether he knew about the about the Alopecia or not.

This brings me to a bit of a frame-by-frame look at the scene...Rock is making his little jokes. He makes the very dated, G.I. Jane reference regarding Jada's close Ceasar...a joke that ain't funny because we know that in G. I. Jane, Jane went "rogue" and buzzed her hair in that iconic scene...literally steals herself a haircut in an unmanned barbershop, The Homecoming playing in the background; this act once synonymous with hysteria, now synonymous with bravery, confidence, survival and empowerment...and dare I say, give-no-fuq-tialation. If only we could all be this brave. In a society where Black girls are judged by not only their bodies, but their skin color and the quality and length of their hair to say, "fuck it", in the face of sickness or health, Jada, like Ayana, is resting in bald beauty.  Recognize.

Now, I have never seen Rock as a cheap comedian, though I could be proven wrong by taking a look back to analyze his previous work(which Netflix is covertly calling me to do as I write)...which is something I'd normally do in this rhetorical situation...but I ain't got time for that today.

We see Will's laughing turn cold after he looks at his wife's face...which sports a  stoicism reminiscent of Kamala's, Ketanji's and Clair Huxtable's when she gets the joke. Jada's face is clear stone. She shall not be moved and that shit wasn't funny. And for a joke to be a joke, it's gotta be funny...and what makes jokes funny is that they are timely, relevant and rooted in truth. This wasn't that.

Will then gets out of his seat and approaches the stage, climbs the stairs, and approaches Rock(who seems only a bit surprised and partially braced) and very theatrically "slaps the shit out" Rock and exits downstage center, complete with action star pose at the end. I feel like there was a little WWF action in that slap too.

Chris...as my therapist pointed out, takes the slap like he's been getting slapped "all the time"...paraphrasing... as I tend to do...and I hope you're starting to see my point.

(Last week, Brown, her husband, her daughter and a collective consciousness took those slaps and took them and took them...we did not flinch, did not budge and she is the one to be praised, not the loose cannons, kooks, heretics, hotheads nor opportunists...not the ones who sought to discredit, embarrass and shame her.)

And in the days since another master of stoicism and side eye once said, "When they go low, we go high", I have been saying, "When they go low, I go lower"...because I bet I can do it better than they can...but also because I choose violence when it is warranted.

After he is seated, Will then says, "Keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth!", not once, but twice with zest, zeal and conviction peppered with sadness, in case somebody in the back ain't hear it, a phrase born, bred, curtled and coined in the mouths of Black women, to which Rock responds, I'm going to...not, I will.

And that's the scene for me.

That phrase...the one Will, a man, yelled out to another man...one we may have heard a Kardashian or two co-opt at this point...we, Black women ourselves have hurled at those who would speak against us with our own tongues. We have always protected ourselves in the face of extreme violence and disrespect. We have always had the "come for", yet always the discernment of when it is and is not useful...when you need to get got and when you don't. When it's our peace over your dumb-assed-ness. We have remained stoic and popped off as circumstances and situations dictate...we have learned to exist in the belly of this country, moving in it, being oppressed by it and shaping it all at once. And you've watched us fucking work. We have birthed, fed, clothed and given voice to American life and culture for generations.

From here on...we demand rest and that the rest of you who consistently benefit from our contributions, our labor, do your job and protect us...it is what we are owed.

Do that in all the ways you choose and if there be lawlessness in these streets because somebody got to get the shit slapped out of them every time a Black woman is disrespected, so be it. That courtroom last week, your job, the grocery store and everywhere would be like that scene in Stand by Me when the whole fucking County Fair vomits on each other at the pie eating contest. Only instead of pie it would be open palms. Imagine it.

This morning and afternoon, I think a lot of folks missed a moment.  My friend pointed out that my thought process aint like nobody else's. I am teaching argument in my comp class in this final unit of the semester. I'm teaching, you don't have to agree with me, but see my perspective here as viable. They are all actors.

Another person I respect, Shawn King, says this is criminal assault and I am not with the shits. On the contrary, I rather appreciated his Rorschach test post from today which discusses all of our very polar perspectives on last night's events. In our current cultural landscape, I don't really pick and choose when I want the unjustice system involved in every day affairs...for me, this was a work place dust up, consequential in many ways, yes, but we should let the management handle it...and in the latter part of today, we see news of just that trickling in. We also now know that Rock has declined pressing charges and we see that Smith's flirtation with similar actions have been dug up and are on display and we see his barage of apologies. We could be witnessing a mental meltdown, something more crafted or both. I feel like we will never know exactly.

So here is my final question...how many topics can we trend in its wake? Toxic masculinity, feminism, chauvinism, chivalry, black-on-black violence, celebrity worship, black aggression, black mental health, alopecia, entanglements, red table talks, #oscarssowhite!!!!!

At the end of the day here is my takeaway. 

A. The moment was brilliant. The #Oscar's are still so white. Passive aggressive. Petty. Hot-headed. Insensitive. Insatiable. Marginal. Get your respectability politics out of here.

2. It was an homage to the strength and the humanity of the Black people...a display of the courage, brilliance and vulnerability of the Black man. An indictment of a system that can and will oppress and use us any time we allow it.

And D. This is the call to be in it but not of it. To take their rules and turn them on their end. To take time away to tend to yourself under all cirumstances.

(And side note: the trajectory of Lupita's face is a masterclass).

But Hey white power structure!...We see you...you will minimize the efforts, intelligence, brilliance and talents of Black people at all costs. ALWAYS paint us as culprit. Using people up and casting them aside when their lives no longer serve you. The joke is actually on you. You only been winning because you're a cheater.

How about doing what Will said and keep our names out your fucking mouth.

And oh, in case you all missed it...as of last night, Will Smith, narcissistic and all, is the 4th Black man to win the Oscar for best actor for is portrayal of Richard Williams (another Black culture hero) in the 2021 film, King Richard.