Focus on Intentions More Than Goals

Goal setting is a valuable skill that helps you stay on track and get things done. Goals are essential for completing immediate tasks, such as clearing your office or learning a new computer skill. They can increase your energy and focus, giving you a sense of direction.

But goal-setting can also work against you. When you set a goal, you may silently wonder:

• Will I reach my goal? • Will I be happy once I reach it? • If this goal is not the right one, should I set another? • What will others think, if I don’t succeed?

These questions often run quietly in the background of your awareness, yet they can create an undercurrent of pressure and self-doubt. Over time, over-focusing on achieving goals can leave you feeling that what you currently have—or who you currently are—is not enough. With this approach happiness gets postponed, investing your well-being in the future.

Your unconscious mind senses uncertainty and begins to stir up anxiety. Beneath the surface, there is often a subtle fear of failure or not being enough.

From TED* -- *The Empowerment Dynamic perspective, this is where the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) can quietly take hold internally. When you don’t reach your goal, the inner Persecutor may become critical: “You should have done more.” In response, the Victim energy arises: “Why try anyway? I’ll never be successful.” Sometimes, the Rescuer steps in, urging you to lower the bar or distract yourself to feel better in the moment.

All three of the DDT reactive patterns keep the cycle going. This inner dynamic drains your energy and disconnects you from your natural creativity.

Living your intentions, on the other hand, offers a powerful shift.

Being intentional allows you to focus on how you want to be in the present moment, independent of whether you are winning or losing. Intentions anchor you in your values—how you want to show up, what matters most, and who you choose to be on the way to what you want.

In TED* terms, intentions are an expression of your Creator essence. Your Creator essence is not dependent on external outcomes to feel fulfilled.

Focusing on your intentions does not mean you give up your goals. Quite the opposite. When you partner your goals with clear intentions, you transform your experience. You become one of the few people who enjoy the journey as much as the destination.

Here are four key differences between goals and outcomes:

1. Goals are focused on the future. Intentions are lived in the present and shape how you move toward that future.

2. Goals are destinations. Intentions are practiced daily, regardless of whether you “win” or “lose.”

3. Goals are external achievements. Intentions reflect your inner relationship with yourself and others.

4. Goals support short-term accomplishment. Intentions sustain long-term meaning, energy, and commitment.

I remember well how a former recreational softball coach helped me reframe my intense competitive streak when playing in a co-ed summer league many years ago. He said, “The purpose of goals is to win at whatever game you are playing. The purpose of intentions is to enjoy playing the game.” I love that!

This shift moves you out of the Drama Triangle and into TED*. Instead of reacting to outcomes, you respond creatively to what is in front of you. You begin to experience what we call in the TED* framework, dynamic tension—holding a clear vision of the outcome you want while staying grounded in current reality, taking one baby step at a time.

An analogy may help illustrate the difference.

I live in the Pacific Northwest, where there are many wonderful day hikes with spectacular views. My goal might be to reach the summit of a small mountain to take in the extraordinary view. At the same time, I can set an intention to be present to the sights and smells along the trail— noticing the beauty of the forest, the sound of water, and the unexpected vistas around each turn.

Halfway up the mountain, a recent rainstorm has washed out a stream, blocking the path. I must turn back, unsuccessfully reaching the top of the mountain.

If I am attached only to my goal, I may feel disappointed or even defeated. But if I am grounded in my intention, something very different happens. I return home fulfilled—not because I reached the summit, but because I fully experienced the journey and power of nature.

From a TED* perspective, I experience the journey from the wholeness of my Creator essence. My intention has been fulfilled, even though the goal was not achieved.

When you fall in love with your intention rather than the goal, you don’t have to wait to feel satisfied. Fulfillment is available now, in how you choose to show up.

And ironically, from this place of presence and alignment, you often achieve more—not less—because your energy is no longer consumed by winning and losing, fear, self-judgment, or doubt. As you set your goals, ask yourself another question:

How do I want to be on the way to what I want?

Until next time, here’s to the Creator in you.

Donna

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