I Thought I Was Done Having a Complicated Relationship With My Body

Dolls,

I really thought I was done having a complicated relationship with my body.

As a beneficiary of the Body Positive movement, I learned to love the big arms that came with being nearly 400 pounds.

So imagine my surprise the other day when I caught myself in the mirror at Pilates, my arm was in a gorgeous, strong hold on the reformer, but I could not take my eyes off the skin hanging from the back of my arm, moving just slightly behind the rest of me.

Like a gentle echo.

And it’s not just my arms.

As my core gets stronger, there’s skin folds and “extra fabric” where my back rolls used to be.

Nobody tells you this part.

Nobody tells you that as you release the weight, your relationship with your body doesn’t disappear.

It evolves.

You don’t get to choose where your body settles into itself.

You just find out.

One mirror at a time.

One body check at a time.

Different number on the scale.

Same assignment.

Maybe I’m no longer navigating life at 400 pounds.

But at 215, there’s still body positivity work to do.

There’s still confidence work to do.

There’s still self-love work to do.

That realization completely changed the way I get dressed for the gym.

What I wear has become more about supporting whatever version of myself shows up that day.

Some days I reach for the sports bra.

Some days I want long sleeves.

Some days I let my loose skin show.

Neither choice is more “body positive” than the other.

Neither choice earns me extra credit.

Both are acts of listening.

What matters most is that I don’t let one hard day staring at my jiggly arms in pilates become a reason to disappear.

So instead of trying to force myself into one version of confidence, I built something that makes showing up easier.

A nine-piece workout uniform.

For reference:

Height: 5’10”

Top: 14 (L/XL)

Bottom: 16

Every piece is from Athleta, and their Semi-Annual Sale is happening now, so it felt like the perfect time to finally put this together.

Instead of linking every item individually, I created one Workout Uniform Edit with everything in one place.

One link.

Nine pieces.

Come back whenever you need a new sports bra, a pair of leggings, or simply a reminder that your body deserves support exactly as it is today.

Shop the full workout uniform edit →

A modest Barre Class Shop the full workout uniform edit →

Strong Reformer work Shop the full workout uniform edit →

Covered Curves Shop the full workout uniform edit →

Let it Show Reformer Shop the full workout uniform edit →

Built in Bra on Rest Day (I’m wearing this dress in a L) Shop the full workout uniform edit →

Thank you for letting me tell you the truth about the arms.

The back.

The echo.

All of it.

Because that’s what this journey is really about.

Learning to meet each new version of ourselves with curiosity instead of criticism.

Today, love looks like dressing the body that’s already doing the work. Not waiting for the you I thought you had to become.

Lots of love,

CeCe 🤎