# Now That I'm Still Here A newsletter about survival, storytelling, mental health, humor, and hope after ruin. Page: Feed: --- ## [LET THE BELL RING](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/let-the-bell-ring) _2026-08-18 · Christopher Carazas_ A personal essay about autistic burnout, trauma, creative overwhelm, and the fear of disappearing. After a difficult week nearly pushed me to quit writing, I began rethinking what it means to be seen, to slow down, and to let the work truly reach people. ## [The Price of Being Seen](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-price-of-being-seen) _2026-08-17 · Christopher Carazas_ I spent a long time proving my generosity by how much of myself I was willing to give away. I am beginning to wonder whether disappearance should really be the price of belonging. ## [THE PLYMOUTH SENTINEL & CANINE GAZETTE- Penultimate Edition](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-plymouth-sentinel-and-canine-0d3) _2026-08-16 · Christopher Carazas_ A Journal of Public Record, Municipal Alarm, Domestic Intelligence, Foreign Affairs, Literary Judgment & Canine Administration ## [She Still Has a Key](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/she-still-has-a-key) _2026-08-15 · Christopher Carazas_ A personal essay on psychological abuse and the self-hatred it leaves behind, and why the voice doesn't leave just because the marriage did. ## [The Fifth Language](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-fifth-language) _2026-08-13 · Christopher Carazas_ I speak four languages fluently. Nobody ever taught me the fifth. ## [The Fraud I Learned to Become](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-fraud-i-learned-to-become) _2026-08-11 · Christopher Carazas_ The hardest part of impostor syndrome was not doubting what I could do. It was doubting what I knew. ## [THE STATE OF THE UNION](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-state-of-the-union) _2026-08-07 · Christopher Carazas_ DELIVERED BY SHADOW, AGE FOURTEEN ## [What Does Your Impostor Tell You?](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/what-does-your-impostor-tell-you) _2026-08-07 · Christopher Carazas_ A recording from Christopher Carazas's live video [Listen](https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/209862715/15a632a24cbd217cc9533e581813abea.mp3) ## [Live with Christopher Carazas](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/live-with-christopher-carazas-27a) _2026-08-05 · Christopher Carazas_ A recording from Christopher Carazas's live video [Listen](https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/209981238/99cd4853adb926124643f10e0a3ec10d.mp3) ## [The 14th Year: A Formal Review.](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-14th-year-a-formal-review) _2026-08-05 · Christopher Carazas_ My 14-year-old German Shepherd has opened a formal review of my conduct. I am not permitted to defend myself. ## [Stocks ranked by what execs say (Sponsored)](https://crawlproof.com/a/CvlX8v6u4Ue0) _2026-08-05 · **Sponsored**_ Evidence-backed watchlists from earnings calls and filings, cited to real transcripts—not guesses. ## [No Name for the Record](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/no-name-for-the-record) _2026-08-04 · Christopher Carazas_ A sequel letter about learning to trust your own instincts before your family gets a vote, told through a courtroom, a grave, and a pickleball paddle. ## [THE PLYMOUTH SENTINEL & CANINE GAZETTE- Sunday Edition Aug. 2, 1886(ish)](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-plymouth-sentinel-and-canine-f10) _2026-08-02 · Christopher Carazas_ Established for the Preservation of Public Morals, Coastal Security, Proper Breakfast Administration, and the General Supervision of Man ## [Guilty Until Proven Human](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/guilty-until-proven-human) _2026-07-31 · Christopher Carazas_ When AI Thinks You’re a Machine: Autism, Language, and the Cost of Being Misread ## [The Craft Room: Lyrical, but Stubborn](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-craft-room-lyrical-but-stubborn) _2026-07-31 · Christopher Carazas_ How I learned to edit pain before anyone else could reject itA systems thinker examines trauma, autistic masking, and revision, asking whether lyrical restraint can become another way of hiding pain. ## [The Gospel According to the Thing That Did Not Kill Me](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-gospel-according-to-the-thing) _2026-07-28 · Christopher Carazas_ A darkly funny, intimate essay about trauma, grief, atheism, and the body’s long memory, with an aging German Shepherd as witness and guide. ## [THE PLYMOUTH SENTINEL & CANINE GAZETTE Sunday Edition | July 26, 1886(ish)](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-plymouth-sentinel-and-canine-8b9) _2026-07-26 · Christopher Carazas_ Printed in Plymouth under editorial standards last revised in 1886 ## [The Myth of Starting Over](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-myth-of-starting-over) _2026-07-25 · Christopher Carazas_ The myth of “starting over” sounds comforting until you’ve survived psychological abuse. In this deeply personal memoir essay, I explore autism, coercive control, trauma, healing, and the loyal German Shepherd who helped me trust my own reality again. ## [The Echo After the Voice](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-echo-after-the-voice) _2026-07-23 · Christopher Carazas_ Two years after escaping psychological abuse, a stranger says my ex-wife’s name at a World Cup party, and my body reacts before my mind can. This deeply personal essay explores complex PTSD, EMDR therapy, nervous system healing, hypervigilance, and the extraordinary way my retired hearing dog, Shadow, carried both of us until we finally began learning what safety feels like. ## [The Essay That Almost Wasn’t](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-essay-that-almost-wasnt) _2026-07-21 · Christopher Carazas_ Every finished essay is built on the remains of several others. ## [8.1% APY Plus Free Stock (Sponsored)](https://crawlproof.com/a/seR1VfUHmtrQ) _2026-07-21 · **Sponsored**_ Claim 8.1% APY and up to $1,030 in SK hynix and Nvidia stock. ## [The Plymouth Sentinel & Canine Gazette- Sunday Edition- July 19, 1886(ish)](https://ccarazas.substack.com/p/the-plymouth-sentinel-and-canine-601) _2026-07-19 · Christopher Carazas_ Published Every Sunday, Whether Humanity Deserves It or Not