#160 : IT’S FUCKING OVER! I SUBMITTED MY FINAL DRAFT!

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I FINALLY DID IT.

I handed in my novel to Crown! Look, my Penguin-Random House page is up and everything:

February 2nd, baby!

Okay, sorry; I know this is anti-climactic to you guys. For people on the outside, the huge thing is the book deal, which, for me, happened back in…I don’t even remember. Autumn of last year. Yes, I sold a completed 95,000 word novel back then. What a relief for an author! Right?!

Well, yes—on a business level. I was assured that it would get published.

BUT. On the editing level, that was when the actual pressure started. The clock began ticking. The work one does between a publisher buying a novel and it getting put into production is IT. That’s what’s going to the fucking printing press. And what goes to the printing press determines how the rest of your career will go. And your career pays for the roof over your head, as well as for your future.

Any author who gives a fuck (believe me, there are some out there that don’t) will at this point start revising. At the very high professional level where I am proud to say I operate, writing is self-editing—TO THE VERY HIGHEST STANDARDS. It’s about pushing, and pushing, and pushing. And revising. And revising. And revising. Make it better. Make it better-better. Make is better-better-better. Make it better-better-better-better. Make it—okay, I’ll stop.

Someone like moi might keep obsessively hunting for flaws to trounce and destroy forever. That’s why deadlines are good. On May 20th, I handed in the final 365 pages, and it’s SUCH A CRAZY FEELING. It’s over. AFTER THREE AND A HALF YEARS OF OBSESSION AND RIDICULOUSLY HARD WORK…

I NEVER HAVE TO WORK ON IT AGAIN.

LIKE, EVER.

SO, SO CRAZY.

So while the book deal announcement is fun, THIS date, final submission date, is the day the author actually celebrates. The document that has consumed us for years, which we are so sick of that our stomach actually flips with nausea when we see reminders of it, is taken off our hands, and our lives become completely different.

I am so proud of myself. Completing HOW TO MURDER YOUR LIFE during active addiction will always be the greatest accomplishment of my life, but this book is easily my second biggest accomplishment.

And the timing couldn’t be better. BOOK-FREE SUMMER IS ON DECK, BITCHES! Here’s a massive list of things I’m looking forward to: