Should Complex Pastoral Questions Be Answered on YouTube?

The priesthood has various ministries. For example, I was a parish priest for thirty two years. During that time, I was an assistant priest (aka parochial vicar), administrator and pastor. A year ago, seeking to take a break from parish ministry, I became a hospital chaplain.

Every role a priest has requires different responses to any situation. I address my ministry one way in a hospital, another way in a parish office and still another way in a confessional.

I make it my ministry to explain what the Church actually teaches and not what people say the Church teaches: the two perspectives can be radically different.

Fr. Mike Schmitz is a highly respected priest and campus minister at the Newman Center at the University of Minnesota Duluth Newman Center. He also is a media priest, author and more for Ascension Press and other Catholic media organizations. What he teaches in a video is one form of ministry and what he explains to a student at the Newman Center is another.

In a video, a mother asks Kim Zember and Fr. Mike if she could attend her son’s same sex wedding. Fr. Mike said no because by her presence she is giving approval. Chris Damian, a lawyer and Catholic who touches on various issues in the Church specifically on gay issues, asks Fr. Mike in a voice mail to cite his sources on this question. As of his latest video, he had no response from Fr. Mike.

Remember, as I said above, priests can be found in different roles. When Fr. Mike is a campus minister, he is one kind of priest. When he is doing videos, he is another kind of priest. He cannot change Church teaching but he has to present it in light of the situation.

In a video, he is giving a general instruction based on Catholic principles and in the office, he should give more personal instruction based on a specific situation. That is following Church teaching.

The signature document on ministry to those in the LGBTQ+/SSA community as Catholics was written by Josef Cardinal Ratzinger, whom most people know today as the late Pope Benedict XVI. It is Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons (1986). Many faithful know this document for calling homosexuality an objective disorder which resulted in serious rejection by many in the LGBTQ community. Unfortunately, those who rejected the document out of hand, also threw out the baby with the bathwater. There are some fascinating statements in that document that apply in this situation.

According to the then Cardinal Ratzinger, homosexuality is a complex issue. Those who simplify it and just dismiss anyone same-sex attracted are not following Church teaching. The document also states that it is an issue that requires more than just knowing rules:

It is within this context, then, that it can be clearly seen that the phenomenon of homosexuality, complex as it is, and with its many consequences for society and ecclesial life, is a proper focus for the Church's pastoral care. It thus requires of her ministers, attentive study, active concern and honest, theologically well-balanced counsel.

The Church also warns against generalizations:

Here, the Church's wise moral tradition is necessary since it warns against generalizations in judging individual cases. In fact, circumstances may exist, or may have existed in the past, which would reduce or remove the culpability of the individual in a given instance; or other circumstances may increase it.

This is an important passage in this case because the media ministry by default is one that is to a general audience. So, any teaching in a video format must fit a general audience. For example, if someone were to ask: “Why does the Church use the term objectively disordered?” The answer can be given to a general audience without concerns about an individual case. “The Church understands genital sexual expression is for pro-creation. Homosexual acts do not have that finality, by default, therefore, an orientation that leads one to that action the Church labels objectively disordered. “

That is a general statement describing what the Church teaches but obviously not completely because one has to read this and other documents to get the full teaching, as this document states. However, that statement to describe Church teaching can be used to a general audience which a YouTube video always will be.

Fr. Mike Schmitz and Kim address a specific pastoral situation and make a general teaching. Further, Father Mike gives a definitive teaching which the Church also says not to do in this format. However, in the process, he also gives general teaching which is the nature of the genre.

In another document, Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions between Homosexual Persons (2003), also written by Josef Cardinal Ratzinger, the Catholic Church does not approve of same-sex marriage because it redefines the nature of what God created as the basic unit of human existence.

[M]arriage exists solely between a man and a woman, who by mutual personal gift, proper and exclusive to themselves, tend toward the communion of their persons. In this way, they mutually perfect each other, in order to cooperate with God in the procreation and upbringing of new human lives.

The movie Bridegroom explains the legal issues of two people of any sexual orientation who are in a relationship not legally recognized. We learn disturbing complications happen. The movie, used as evidence in the Obergefell case before the U.S. Supreme Court which legalized same-sex marriage, shows survivors of relationships in which couples lived together for decades were denied the right to grieve properly the death of a loved one. Some were even denied knowing the location where the loved one was buried by families who rejected their relationship. The survivor in the relationship in the movie was even threatened with violence if he showed up at the funeral. His loved one’s family never spoke to him again because they thought he was the reason why their son was gay. These actions, if the family was Catholic, would be gravely sinful. They were Christian but not Catholic.

St. John Henry Cardinal Newman and Ambrose St. John were two men whom according to NPR shared everything but a marriage bed. This included a house and even a grave. When Ambrose St. John died, Newman’s grief was intense and he felt it was even greater than the grief shared by husband and wife, NPR reported.

These are real issues that affect men and women every day and as the Church teaches have to be pastorally addressed on individual bases. One needs a full understanding of what the Church teaches and how to apply it in a specific situation.

I got the same question Fr. Mike and Kim addressed from time to time and I respond with another question: “What message are you trying to send? Is it your intention that because of this wedding, you want to communicate the door between you and your loved one is closed?” This would mean they choose to be estranged from their son or daughter. “If not how do you communicate that you want them to know your door is always open but that you disapprove of the wedding?” If the mother attends the wedding, she is not testifying she approves and the Church would not say that. She would testify that her son is her son no matter what and she will always be there for him. The door is not closed. However, a pastoral minister such as a priest should not make the decision for her. She needs to make the decision based on the message she intended to communicate. Pastorally, you help someone make a decision, you do not make the decision for him or her because it is not ours to make.

A more proper response would be to encourage her to discuss this with her parish priest or another trusted personal pastoral advisor. She also must receive encouragement to bring this to prayer and trust the Lord to guide her in her decision. As I always teach, prayer is essential for all of us. We all need a good solid prayer life and situations like this, we bring to prayer and trust in the Lord’s guidance.

The Church does not work as black and white as many would believe to be the case. She calls us to act pastorally and in love without compromising on what the Church actually teaches. This is what Jesus did and we must go and do the same. The first step is to understand the proper response for the type of ministry we do.

Finally, for those who may disagree with Fr. Mike’s answer, please keep in mind that he is a talented man, zealous for the faith who also is deep in Catholic Media ministry. These companies have their own message and if you appear on their channels, in their magazines or on their bookshelves, your message has to match the company message or you do not get published, your video does not get uploaded, your columns do not appear in their pages. This is the nature of any part of the media industry, Catholic or not. I self-publish exactly for that reason, but I also have few listeners and followers compared to Fr. Mike. It is the nature of the beast.

Fr. Robert J Carr is chaplain for two hospitals in Brockton, Massachusetts

His Patreon Page is patreon.com/catholicaudiomedia

He podcasts at Catholic Audio Media Podcast |

He is the author of several books including: Christ in Your Humanity