That Junk Drawer

“As I looked at my hair this morning, I was reminded . . . I cannot control every frickin’ thing!.” ~~ Vindy Teja, life and divorce coach

I am very slowly unpacking my bags from almost three months away. So far, I’ve gotten all the clothes washed and hung up or folded and put in the drawers where they belong and now I am tackling the toiletries, supplements and odds and ends that seem to require their own room. Because I was away for so long, I replenished my supplements and toiletries as I went. Now, I am home, with doubles of many items and feeling overwhelmed with how to effectively sort and store them.

A bright idea had me cleaning out one kitchen drawer this weekend, only to find I have a lifetime supply of napkins. You might think I’m joking. But, no. I have enough napkins to feed a family of twelve for several years. How did I end up with so many napkins, you wonder? Easy. If you don’t always put things back in the same place and then stuff other things in the same deep drawer because you have filled space elsewhere, you might, like me, end up buying another package of napkins because you can’t find any in your kitchen. A therapist I worked with many years ago asked me to answer questions as to why I was holding on to things. She, of course, didn’t know that often I’m not holding on to things intentionally. Not me! I just rediscover things I already have after buying a replacement.

This experience has me thinking about that ubiquitous drawer every kitchen has. Aptly named the junk drawer, it is where the odds and ends of daily life go to hide. And that has me thinking that my mind most likely also has a junk drawer, filled with thoughts, beliefs and emotional experiences that need to be set free so I can live in the present. And that is a process of letting go.

Letting go is one of the big spiritual commandments - it’s called the principle of detachment in Buddhism and the same spiritual principle is found in all the major and minor world religions. In Christianity it is found in the teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola and more prominently in the Eastern Orthodox teachings.

The principle of detachment or non-attachment is about setting myself free from holding on to that which causes me suffering - waiting for someone to change when I have no control over that process is an example. And the suffering is self-generated through negative thinking, worrying and attempts to make life emotionally comfortable for others.

I know that letting go is an act of love - one of the highest in fact - because it frees me to focus on my soul purpose and frees others to grow and learn from their own life experiences. I think of it as a process of freeing myself so I can live in internal peace and presence. The more I release attachments that do not support my development and growth, whether to people, ideas or things, the lighter I become and the more able I am to accept myself just as I am, in this present moment: a woman with way too many napkins and a surfeit of toiletries and supplements that need homes.

As I look at what I keep in my internal and external junk draws - emotions, objects, behaviors, patterns, people or ideas - I now see each one as a brightly colored balloon that I am ready to let fly. Let the currents take them all to be transformed into the light.

With love,

Cathleen