The Cold Spell That Wouldn't Quit

First! My summer Gates of the Arctic trips are filling up, but there are still a few spots in the first session- now open to everyone, not just women, trans and non-binary people! I teach you how to make a cross-country route in the Alaskan arctic, and that’s what we hike. These trips are honestly incredible! Deets and the application are here.

And if you want to frolic in the sunshine and flowers in one of the most remote places on this planet, I’m also taking people to the western Brooks Range this year- these trips are going to be INSANE. Incredible crispy ridgewalking, grizzly bear trails, aquamarine waterfalls. Dropoff and pickup via bushplane. I also teach you to make routes in caltopo! Deets and the application are here.

Also! I have an essay in issue 39 of Adventure Journal called Diary of an Alaskan Winter. This is a beautiful print-only magazine, and you can find it here.

Fairbanks had its longest cold snap in a hundred years. It was between -20 and -45F almost every day for like six weeks. I spent most of that time in my cabin, sewing. I disassociated for days on end. My dogs burrowed into the pile of blankets on the couch and lost themselves to dreamworld.

It was -35F the night of our neighborhood solstice party. Jon had invented a backcountry Zamboni (haul in 20 gallons of water with a snow machine, heat it on an outdoor propane burner, pour it into a cooler on a wheeled cart that has a nozzle that goes to a length of PVC pipe from which hangs a towel), and we turned the frozen pond into a pretty good ice rink. I had a half dozen battery-powered disco lights that synced to music, neighbors set up a tripod, made a sign, put out candles to light the half mile of trail to the pond, gathered a veritable mountain of pallets and hauled them in one sled-load at a time. We had massive Bluetooth speakers and a playlist eight hours long. As the night drew closer and the forecast didn’t improve, I asked the chat if we should cancel the party. What are you talking about? They said.

I tell you what, people in Fairbanks are tough about the cold. Did you know that zipties don’t work at those temps? Their little teeth just shatter. We put them in our coats to warm them so we could hang the lights on the tripod. Then the lights died in the cold. The music died next, and it wouldn’t be revived even after we shoved a hand warmer in the battery compartment. The Costco pizzas I brought froze almost instantly. People still came out. People and dogs and a steady pallet bonfire throwing sparks on everyone’s parkas. One neighbor grilled a huge wheel of cheese over fire in a barrel and handed it out on warm boiled potatoes on paper plates. People ice skated. I think people were just stoked to be getting some enrichment. I was too although I was also a little cold. But it was still fun.

The cold kept on, and everyone’s cars began to break. I went to Anchorage for the new years’ ice carousel, which continues to be one of my favorite things on this earth- I am constantly humbled and amazed at peoples’ ingenuity and scappiness here, and their ability to make light in dark times. (And I got to use my swirling disco lights at the ice carousel, as it was only zero degrees so they didn’t die!)

On the drive back, as we crossed the Alaska range and dropped down into the -50F ice fog, my CV axle started making a grinding noise- luckily it limped all the way to Jon’s driveway before coming undone completely. All the mechanics here were booked out (and you should’ve seen the lines at autozone) but Jon can repair anything with 500 mg caffeine and a youtube video, so by the next afternoon it was fixed. And then a few days ago, the tensioner for my serpentine belt yeeted itself out of the engine bay, and a few hours later Jon had fixed that too (in a parking lot, but it was only -10F at least).

Hanging out with Jon hasn’t endeared me to car repair any more but it has shown me what’s possible, which is nice. And I still can’t believe that I found someone so good to date here in Fairbanks! A cis straight man of all things, who is not only so handy it’s making me spoiled and entitled (constant car repair?!) but he’s also emotionally intelligent and an intellectual, and we can talk about anything, societal collapse or feelings or poetry or deep space or whatever! And the relationship feels so cozy and safe. The universe sure does love to hand us a mixed bag. All the horrors of existence, and then one pure uncomplicated thing. It do be like that.

The cold spell has broken now (it was eight whole degrees today!) but I still haven’t been writing, because I haven’t had anything useful to contribute. I would start to think of something and then I would be like, nah. Except- I think we should all be armed. And know how to use our guns. And maybe a wee stockpile of ammunition. The second amendment exists so that we can rise up against a tyrannical government. Well, our government is disappearing people of color to detention centers that have no oversight. They’re also executing people in the street. And their intentions to continue to ramp up the fascism have been very clear. I think it might be time. I’m not saying we can win- Americans are the most armed population on earth, but our law enforcement is armed-er (and ICE has a budget larger than all other US law enforcement agencies combined- 85 billion, including 30 billion for operations and 45 billion for detention centers- that’s enough money to detain 70,000 people). No, I don’t think we can win. But I think we should organize with our communities as things escalate and then fight to the bitter end. Not to be dark, but I’m an elder millennial- what do I have to look forward to? Never retiring, never owning a home. Cancer without health insurance, probably. Maybe dementia too. As an alternative to that slow, depressing end, I would gladly join with others to push back against this growing, lawless, masked militia and the fascists it represents. It’s our duty, bruh.

Also, Nic Antoinette has been writing some beautiful newsletters about the horrors lately.

That’s all for now,

Carrot