Falling into universal flow

Hey! Carrie here, with some interesting topics to chew over today.

Such as, why surrender isn’t really surrender at all. Turns out it’s actually something much more wonderful than its reputation would suggest. (Or at least, this is how it’s been showing up for me lately.) And we’ll take a look at the role of our own true divine identity, in all of that.

So let’s back up a bit, and start at the beginning…

Lately in prayer-meditation, I hadn’t really been praying for or about anything specific. I’ve been connecting with universal flow itself; focusing wordlessly on my pilot light of inner purpose (see my last post). Wanting its expression in this world to be aligned with heaven and earth. Praying, I guess, to be carried along by that sacred universal current. Instead of being dragged along by my own bossy mental ideas of how it all ought to go.

And that’s sweet. But it turns out I was missing something quite fundamental.

Without realizing, I was praying outward. Even though I know better.

I’m over here, the universe is over there. Heaven is up, earth is down, and I’m a tiny human having a dense physical experience that is separate from all of it.

It’s what we do. Right? It’s how we operate. And it’s completely understandable. The tangible world of form seems to testify only to this limited perception, forcefully suggesting to us that this 3 dimensional world is our only reality. That each of us is a completely separate being, encased inside a body. And nothing more.

All of this is part of that perceptual veil that blocks our higher knowing.

But you ‘n me, we know—or at least strongly suspect—that there’s a whole lot more to our existence than just what our physical senses tell us.

Anyway, humanity has been under this spell, the so-called veil of forgetfulness, for eons.

(Since we’re on this topic, let’s check out the veil of forgetfulness more closely for a sec: Is it really just ‘forgetfulness’? If you’re paying attention, you might conclude that, no matter how often you yourself may have glimpsed a broader truth of oneness at work in the universe…the veil within you seems to operate less like a case of memory loss, and perhaps more like a truancy cop: Catching you playing hooky, anytime you venture out beyond the restrictive world of collective agreement; returning you, over and over again, to the fenced-in ‘safety’ of separation consciousness.)

Either way, the good news is, the veil is in shreds. And every single human being on the planet is discovering it, each in our own way. It’s a big part of what all the inner and outer chaos is about. To the untrained eye, it looks like a house of cards swaying calamitously in the wind. And in some ways it actually IS that. But deeper wisdom can perceive the underlying forces at work.

Bottom line: The dissolution of the veil shrouding humanity’s perception is wonderful news for us all. But as you may have noticed, losing our hypnotic addiction to the simulation of separation, is not all happy-clappy Kumbaya.

Just like weaning oneself off any other poisonous addiction, the process truly sucks. And we’re all reacting to this enforced cold-turkey cleanup differently, each according to our own life’s journey.

Some of us go ape-shit crazy, for instance. And that’s pretty much what’s behind lots of what we’re seeing now.

So anyway, back to my prayer-meditations. There I was, petitioning the external universe for divine inspiration and flow. Because I’m apparently an extremely slow learner.

And that’s when I suddenly re-membered that the universe is in here.

Not out there.

Like all such brushes with timeless truth, this was not delivered as a mental concept. It was a palpable Knowing: A spiritually charged frequency field of divine, living intelligence, permeating my mind, body and energetic being.

This kind of Knowing is not just a repositioning of space, by the way. Not just that what seems to be outside is actually inside. The universe’s origin and identity is now recognized as your own. It’s inside you because it IS you.

Whoa.

Funnily enough, it wasn’t until sitting down to write this newsletter that I recalled an earlier event, one in which I first encountered this exact same Knowing. (And then later ‘forgot’ about it. Like I said…slow learner.)

Back in 2005 I experienced my first brush with All That Is. During this event, the universe began as a concentrated point of focus within me, and radiated out from there to encompass all of eternity.

Time and space dissolved. I and the universe were one. And not only that—’I’ was somehow at the center of it all.

A brief Knowing, but it rocked my worldview, lemme tell ya. Because for the 40-something years prior, I’d thought of myself as an insignificant fuckup, a solo operator, weaving and dodging to escape the notice of an essentially hostile universe. Clearly, a whole bunch of assumptions would now have to change.

(Don’t get me wrong. In the decades of Buddhist practice leading up to that transcendent moment, I’d enjoyed countless miracles and gifts bestowed by the aforementioned universe. But I put that down entirely to the power of that Buddhist practice. ‘I,’ the person receiving those gifts, was still a profoundly separate and irreparably flawed nobody.)

Yet apparently I wasn’t. Apparently something mind-blowingly vast, something well beyond ordinary human understanding was going on here. Not just for me, but for every single human being on this planet. Because that, of course, is also part of the grand Knowing. It’s all of us. The ramifications of this recognition were, and are, enormous.

The universe is within each one of us, and we don’t have to deserve it. It doesn’t happen just for some of us, but not for others. It’s simply what we are.

Speaking just for myself? Back then, in that first encounter with this great Knowing, the seed of a very different self-awareness was planted. Even though I was unable to water it at the time.

So. Back to the pilot light of divine purpose, and my desire to enter that universal flow…

It was a combo prayer that brought forth a sudden invitation—like an open doorway at 10,000 feet: Time to skydive. Time to let my knees buckle gratefully, freefalling in the fresh certainty that I Am the divine parachute that opens to hold me aloft.

What an exquisite relief. What a total surprise. Surrender is not surrender at all, when what awaits you is recognized for what it really is:

You are the safety. You are the support. You are the universal flow, the universal love that you seek. All of it is found nowhere other than inside you. Because it IS you.

And that’s why faith and belief and hope are not required, when surrender is embraced. When you choose to fall through that open doorway, you’re doing it because you already feel and know and recognize for yourself, that you are the divine universe. Holding yourself aloft. Loving yourself, just the way you are.

It’s a freefall that’s more like a homecoming, a family reunion with the beloved, than a terrifying surrender.

Kinda makes you wonder what all the fuss is about.

And here’s another related topic to explore…

What if nothing is ever actually wrong?

This is the kind of insight that tickles the edges of your awareness, while you’re held aloft by that divine I Am parachute.

It’s a question that, in its own quiet way, is actually a veil shredder. (And the more tangled up we ourselves still are in the veil’s twisted threads, the more that question itself will seem like an outrageous affront. Whaddaya mean, nothing is ever actually wrong?! Are you nuts?!)

But that’s a big part of the veil’s M.O., right? To see the inner and outer world as a series of endless problems, endless conflicts. An eternal fight against what is.

But what if nothing is actually what that perceptual veil says it is? I’m not saying injustice and worldly horrors don’t exist. I’m not saying everybody’s childhood wounds didn’t happen; that all is hunky dory.

All of these things are surely real…AND…nothing is ever actually wrong. This kind of conundrum is beyond the logic of the egoic mind (which really hates this sort of stuff). It only makes sense from an altitude of 10,000 feet.

It only makes sense, in fact, when that inner divine pilot light is lit. Prior to that, we just smell the uncomfortable gas leak of our own unmet potential. But in that Whoompf!, that sudden ignition of our own sacred inner spark?

The fumes start to clear.

And what’s revealed is…there’s nothing actually wrong. Inside or out.

Whoa.

Yes, there are plenty of things not to like. Plenty of things to change. Plenty of ways to BE the change. The pilot light burns fierce and pure, inspiring us to do and be a better version of life on earth, than what currently exists.

But underneath it all? Here comes the Desiderata bit:

No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Maybe the messed up inner and outer landscape IS the open doorway at 10,000 feet. Maybe all these expressions of extreme wrongness in the world are our urgent wakeup call—our divine invitation to rise up and see beyond appearances.

To re-member ourselves as we really are: A center point of illuminated consciousness, through which a divinely loving universe emanates to encompass all that is.

And so I repeat:

You are a child of the universe. No less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Peace out, my good friend.

Catch you next time.

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