When the Inner World Finally Spoke

This is the third part of my newsletter series about my journey through this illustration course: the entry-level course I’m currently doing at Ars in Fabula.

In the previous edition, I told you that out of the five stories we could choose to work with, my brain immediately discarded two: one for being too simple/boring, and the other one for being too sad.

Today I want to tell you what happened when, inevitably, I started sketching for the very sad one.

The story is about a boy who comes back from war to say goodbye to his mother, and in the end, she discovers the sad truth. It has a fantasy and mysterious tone. It's a beautiful story, but I found it too sad. Thinking about working with it for five months, getting into the story, the characters... honestly, it was not a place I wanted to enter.

But my tutor had recommended not to discard any story too early.

In this case, I didn’t feel the flow to open my sketchbook and start drawing. My mind was blocked. Since the story was sad and very minimal, I first imagined it in a realistic style, something far from what I can or want to do.

I struggled for a few days, and then I thought: no, I’m doing it wrong. There are a thousand ways to tell a story, and I need to find the one that interests me.

So I asked myself: what part of the story do I connect with the most? Even if I wouldn’t have picked it at first, what resonates with me?

Beyond the sad part, I found the mysterious and fantasy angle interesting: the idea of death, but told in a spiritual way. Focusing only on that idea helped me unblock the visual part. Just thinking about the genre without entering the story yet, I could begin a visual exploration.

I deeply love medieval art and how paintings were used to tell stories, stories that explained even the most unlikely events through fantastic interpretations. Using symbols and characters, they end with ideas about traditions and death, creating a mystical tone without adding any drama.

That was the kind of visual language I liked. So I built a moodboard, and with lots of inspiration, I started sketching.

Now I’ll share something a bit personal. I arrived at this image and I liked it. I wasn’t exactly trying to design the characters, I mostly wanted to find the atmosphere. And this felt like a visual key.
I must say that the research, the process, and the final result had helped me a lot, and I really liked them. But deep down, I didn’t feel 100% sure that this was the story I wanted to work with.

It was different from the kind of subjects I usually work with. So when I finished it, I asked Fausto: “What do you see in this image?”And Fausto said:

F: - Hmm… someone saying goodbye?
C: - Yes!
F: - Is it the grandmother?
C: - No… Well, it doesn’t matter. The goodbye is clear. But wait, why did you think it was the grandmother?
F: -Because of the hair.

It was a small detail. When I imagined a young man, I thought that making the hair a bit longer would make him look younger. Just a visual choice.

Anyway, a few classes later we had a guest illustrator visit. This course includes one special session per month with a guest illustrator, plus weekly feedback with our tutor.

At this point, I can say that the first three stories, the ones I didn’t reject at the beginning, had already faded into the background. I realized something important: the two stories my mind had instantly said NO to, were actually the ones I had reacted to. The ones that made me feel something. So now, I continued working with those two, knowing that in the end, I would have to choose one.

In the illustrator guest day, I presented the work I’d been doing. I was proud of what I’d made, especially the drawing of the fox and the stork, the other story, that I showed you in the previous edition:

The professor liked it, but said:

Boom! Those simple words shook everything. And here came the chaos. During lunch, my mind wouldn’t stop spinning:

I was happy with this idea! Why are they pushing me?
Do I have to ‘leave my comfort zone’?
What if I don’t want to? Am I lazy? Am I wasting this opportunity?
Am I learning enough?
Okay! I’ll try the other story!
But do I really want to?
Why not? What’s wrong with that story?
Why did I draw long hair???

And then… I saw it. Do you want to see a photo of my dad when he was young?

That’s when I understood. I understood why the story felt too sad. I understood why it was a place I didn’t want to go.
I understood that this story shows something many of us wish for after losing someone we love: one last goodbye.

Which story did I choose in the end? I’ll tell you in the next edition, because, as you can imagine, it was a big debate.

But…which one would you have picked?

• Out of the Studio: These past few weeks, we’ve been working a lot, so we didn’t really leave the studio much. But I did manage to finally organize my desk and materials. Finding the perfect place for everything is harder than it sounds!
  I bought a little rolling cart to keep my tools closer, sorted things into small boxes, and cleared space on the main table. It’s already making a difference, now I feel much more comfortable working. Let’s see how long it lasts 😅

  

• Seen & Felt: The Afterparty OMG, I love this series. I’m a big fan of crime and mystery shows, but they can get a bit heavy sometimes. This one is still about a case... but I couldn’t stop laughing. A perfect mix!

• For the Shelf: Marvelous Magicians by Lydia Corry I fell in love with this book the moment I saw it. It’s super interesting and beautifully magical at the same time!

• Echoes: Shannon McNab – The Illustration Department Podcast One of my favorite episodes from this podcast! Shannon shares lots of useful insights about surface design, a beautiful area to work in with illustration.