Well hello Sassies! I hope you’re all retaining your sanity and your waistline as we navigate this neverending winter! I’m still in delightful Charlottetown, and I’m enjoying it so much! I am also still reeling from the popularity of my last article. Something struck a chord and it is my most popular to date. And now I have a lot more readers to welcome! So glad you are here! Thanks for the coffee and for subscribing! On Thursday I went for lunch and coffee with a PEI friend using funds from the “But me a.Coffee” app. It's awesome!
As you likely know, I am a fiction writer with several books and, fingers crossed, perhaps I’ll have news to share in the coming weeks/months on that front. Meanwhile, Amazon carries everything and you can order them if you’re in Canada. If you’re in another country you should be able to find them on your local Amazon platform! Link here ! (Yes it's shameful self promotion! Gal’s gotta have coffee coin) Alright, let's do a Roundup!
The Trump-Epstein world war continues to wreak havoc on the global economy, and kill innocent people, with fuel prices soaring as Iran counties the blockage of the strait of Hormuz. This, coupled with destroyed oil and gas infrastructure in the region, has put POTUS in a hell of a pickle. A pickle of his own bottling. He’s now stated that his goal with the war is to reopen the strait of Hormuz and to reduce oil prices, both things that were hunky dory before the tangerine tyrant bombed Iran and killed their leader.
Now he is planning boots on the ground to hunt for the nuclear weapons that he, in his own words, “decimated” in the initial attack. That’s right, the chaos coordinator is planning to send American soldiers into a sovereign territory to find things that don’t exist. If the Olympics added “wild goose hunting” as an event, the US team would own the podium. It'd be funny if it wasn't murder. Jesus.
The anti-fascist Americans had one of their carefully planned and curated protests again. It inconvenienced nobody. And had zero effect on anything. 8 million people participated. They call it “No Kings”, the silliest, most ineffective name for a protest ever.
For those who think Canadians are the nice ones, I think these Yankee Doodle duds are proper too nice. At least our protestors cause mayhem. As much as I thought the convoyers were coocoo for cocoa puffs, they did actually cause the government to take notice. They did get uncomfortable for their cause and they did cause discomfort for people around them. Nobody is talking about the No Kings rallys. They're still talking about ottawa’s honkey doodle dumbasses.
And the name? No Kings? They're calling it a protest against something they never had? He was ELECTED. Plus Trump is delighted they think he's a king. His gaudy decor of the Whitehouse is the Temù version of the palace at Versailles. The effort has no teeth whatsoever. It makes him happy. Why not call it “No Toddler Tyrants” or “No Apricot Assholes” or something that will get under his smarmy, pockmarked, old man skin? “Anti- Diaper-donning Dictators Day.” They seriously need to rebrand. And protest on inconvenient days at inconvenient places. Or it's just a street party. The largest ever. But a street party.
What they should be having is a “No War” protest. Because America is at war. A war they started for no good reason. A war they picked up at Mongers R US while on a shopping day with Russia and Israel. A war that Trump has described as “fun”. Against Iran. A country that's as old as cockroaches. Iran is going nowhere. Trump needs an out and fabricated ceasefires are not the way.
Enough about that. Did you hear about the Dumb and Dumber reboot staring Joe Rogan and Pierre Poillievre? That's right, for some strange reason, the Squinty Squatter decided to do a three hour podcast with the right wing Trump enabler, Joe Rogan. I guess with Carney doing leg work for the country and not being in the house Piollievre needed content. What's a wannabe PM without his sound bites right?
He was also in the US to talk about trade. It didn't work. Nothing has changed. The US still wants access to dairy markets, wants us to put their liquor back on the shelves and so on. I do wonder why he didn't save all the news he's made for an election campaign. Right now it's all as impactful as a fart in the wind.
Meanwhile, Mark Carney was making major positive headlines at the Junos where he sat between Jim Cuddy and Joni Mitchell and gave the latter her lifetime achievement award. While he has faced criticism for not being at question period very often, and depriving Petulant Pete of sound bites for social media, when he’s in Canada, his PR game is immaculate. Joni, the old, tough as nails hippy, was positively glowing in her praise for the banker-turned-politician. She's seen clouds from both sides now, and none of them are farts in the wind.
Parliament sent Bill C9 to the Senate. The bill contains amendments to the criminal code that intend to strengthen the laws around hate speech. A bunch of MPs brought Bibles in the HoC as a prop to oppose the bill. So apparently the Bible has some hate speech that will be impacted. At least according to the Christian cons who pulled this stunt.
For those wondering why the MPs weren't sanctioned since using props in parliament is against parliamentary rules. That's easy, it deprived them of the ability to say that parliament under Carney is anti-Bible. They WANTED to be sanctioned. They want to be able to accuse the PM and Liberals of being against Christianity. This deflated their hot air balloon before the basket cases could leave the ground. They wanted to get in trouble. Gotta handed to them, the Con MPs know how to protest. Maybe Pierre should be advising Democrats stateside on how to kick up a proper stink!
I am enthralled by the theft of chocolate bars in Europe. That's right. Chocolate, not gold, is the preferred loot for this unknown band of bandits. KitKats to be specifically. Twelve tonnes en route from Italy to Poland! Taking a KitKat Break is at a whole new level! And I have a theory. George Clooney has a chateau in Italy. He's a known prankster. I'm not saying it was Clooney but it was probably Clooney. Watch for the movie Nestle’s Twelve in theaters soon! I have a feeling he's four fingers deep in the great KitKat heist of 2026! Okay it probably isn't Clooney but I still want someone to make the movie!
Word is that Trump’s chief of staff, Susie Wiles, banned staff from sharing “This Hour has 22 Minutes” Viewing on his personal devices after someone showed Trump a sketch of an impersonation of him. Yep, that son of a bitch is mad about the son of a Critch!
Pierre Poillievre has the wisdom of a slug without the good looks. He recently said “I'm far better at predicting the past than the future.” What the actual fubar? Predicting the past? Isn't that just remembering? Good Lord.
When we have ICE at airports in Canada, we use de-icer. In the US they use De-tention. That's right, a number of gravy seals have turned into ICE bergs and have been deployed to major US airports. Apparently regular customs wasn't good enough. So far it appears they are mostly bored and causing stress. And causing international travellers to avoid travelling and stopovers in the US whenever possible. That can't be good for business.
Unrelated, perhaps, but a tragedy at LaGuardia resulted in the death of two Canadian Air Canada pilots flying for Jazz Aviation under the AC banner. The aviation community is small and close-knit and this hits hard. Is it a failure of the US government that one Air Traffic Controller was working another emergency and okayed a firetruck crossing in front of the plane? I guess we will find out but it's a tragedy all Canadians share. Much love and support to the families of all impacted by this senseless tragedy.
Meanwhile the CEO of Air Canada has “retired” after outrage erupted when his condolence speech on the incident was only delivered in one of the official languages, despite the family of one of the pilots being francophone and despite him being mandated to speak French as part of his 12 million dollar contract. Good riddance, I say. I'd practice and read bad French all day long to try to fulfill my commitment to my job and my commitment to compassion. I just can't find someone to pay me 12 million dollars to do it! Do I hear a hundred bucks? I'll take a hundred!
Robert Mueller, former FBI director and special agent who investigated the Trump/Russia link but didn't manage to get justice, passed away at 81. He indicted a bunch of Trump associates but not the president. Trump said “Good, I'm glad he's dead” when asked about it, which frees everyone to express the same sentiment if ever some old geezer that don't like eventually dies. I personally can't think of anyone of the orange persuasion I might use that sentiment on but I'm sure I'll figure it out when it happens…
On April 13, Canada has three by-elections. Winning two of them will give Mark Carney his majority and suddenly bestow a lot of power to the back bench! You see, all a single back bencher has to do is offer to vote against something to take down the government.in a non confidence vote. So like, if they want the government to buy some cheap KitKat bars or else, what can the government do? Buy the bars of course. I'm thinking this could get Nestle—er, nasty.
Trump wants his signature on the US currency. That's right, he wants to put his pedophilia penmanship on the greenback. Mark Carney has his on the Canadian bills from his tenure as Bank of Canada governor. Maybe he's jealous. Congratulations America on also having currency associated with a loon! At least ours is associated with the bird, not an actual lunatic.
Amazing videos mocking Trump and the US are coming out of Iran. They may or may not be sanctioned by the Iranian government but they probably are. Iran is a tad dictatorial like that. Check this one out! VIDEO
Iranian hackers claim to have gained access to the FBI director’s personal email. Kash Patel, the dude caught drinking with the US Olympic team last month, is about as effective as an FBI director as training wheels on a codfish. They claim they're from a time before his role as director but the embarrassment is less the content and more the fact that they hacked the top security guy’s email. This guy is so unqualified his password is probably “password”. Rest assured, inspector Goggle-eyes Adderall face will leave no turn unstoned to figure out how this happened!
Russia has been sending drones to Iran because of course they are. And Trump is no longer talking about Putin or Netanyahu in his long-winded word salad addresses. He is begging his former allies to help instead. One wonders if he realizes he's been used. Or he's sundowning and forgot their names. Who knows with dotage Don?
Iran wants to negotiate with JD Vance. They’re meeting in a boardroom to protect soft furniture. Those Persian sofas are a bitch to dryclean.
Melania wants to give robot teachers to children. She says a humanoid robot educator “will provide a personalized experience, adaptive to the needs of each student,” so “our children will develop deeper critical thinking and independent reasoning abilities.”
We’ve seen Baron and think he might be the case study. That kid sleeps in a gold encrusted crypt. Seriously. He's the creepy version of his father. The peach fuzz doesn't fall far from the tree.
Okay that's enough about the nodfather and his brain worm gangsters. This is already way too long. Have a wonderful Easter weekend! I will be heading back to Newfoundland April 11, home April 12th and I’m hoping to crank out another article before then!
(If you want some serious insight into the impact the Trump-Epstein war is having take a listen to this guy when you're ready. We can't hide from reality. We can only figure out our own way of handling it.)
Thanks for sticking around! Loves ya big-time!
Smooches and hugs
Carolyn
(Enjoy my content? You can now show your appreciation and by buying me a coffee! Or subscribe, free or paid. Or come follow me on Facebook!)
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.