What Are We Teaching Our Kids About Money?

Money conversations with our kids can get complicated pretty quickly.

We may start out talking about an allowance, a pair of sneakers, or whether they really need the latest thing everyone else seems to have. But pretty quickly we realize we are actually talking about something much bigger: Values. Gratitude. Opportunity. Responsibility. The lessons we learned growing up, and the ones we wish we had learned sooner.

This week on Ground Control Parenting, we’re back On the Ground, the recurring series where I sit down with two other moms, Keisha Sutton-James and Jen Hayes Lee, to talk through the parenting questions we’re all wrestling with around the kitchen table.

And this time we’re talking about money.

The conversation began with a small gesture that opened up a much bigger question about money and values. Jen told us that her young son gave her a Valentine’s Day card with a sweet note inside, and taped a $10 bill to it as a gift. She loved his generosity, but it also made her wonder: Was this just a sweet, thoughtful gesture from her son, or was it a sign that money had taken on too much importance in their home?

Keisha shared honestly about the pressure so many parents feel to give our children what we were given, and the pain that can come when we can’t provide everything we hoped we could. We talked about the weight of wanting each generation to do better than the last, especially when that path feels harder than it used to.

And I brought up something I hear from lots of parents: If we have the resources, how do we give our children opportunities we didn’t have without them taking them for granted or, worse yet, becoming entitled brats?

We want to give our kids all the educational opportunities, the after-school lessons, the trips, the experiences that we can. But we also want them to understand effort, sacrifice, and the value of earning something. Keisha, Jen and I talked about the ways we try (sometimes successfully, sometimes not) to give our kids these important perspectives.

Then came the question every parent has faced in some form:

Your child wants the wildly expensive sneakers all their friends seem to have. You can afford them. Your partner says just buy them. But you wonder if this is the moment to teach a lesson.

So what do you do?

As you might imagine, the three of us had thoughts.

Maybe your child has to earn them, with chores. Maybe they have to contribute from their savings. Maybe you ask what they’d be willing to sacrifice for them. Maybe you determine whether they truly love them or just want them because everyone else has them. Maybe you say yes because the item has meaning for that particular child. And maybe you say no because you want your kid to know that some things just aren’t worth paying that much money for.

There was no one perfect answer. There rarely is in parenting.

But there was a common thread: talk about it.

Talk about money before it becomes a problem. Talk about choices. Talk about saving. Talk about work. Talk about how the money coming out of the ATM isn’t magic; it’s your hard-won earnings.

Our kids are learning from us either way. They are watching what we buy, what we value, what we stress about, and what we celebrate.

So let’s give them something more than money. Let’s give them the tools to understand it.

Whether money is discussed openly in your home or rarely comes up at all, this episode offers plenty to think about as we raise kids who understand money, choices, and responsibility.

Listen to What Are We Teaching Them About Money? wherever you get your podcasts, or watch the conversation on our new YouTube channel. If you enjoy the episode, please subscribe on YouTube. It’s one of the best ways to support GCP and help more parents discover these conversations. We love watching this community grow!

Thanks to Paramount for its sponsorship, Seneca Women Podcast Network for its support, and DonorsChoose for being our philanthropic partner this season. And thank YOU for reading, listening, and watching. So glad you’re part of the GCP village!

Enjoy,