Lost

Coming home from the hydrotherapy pool and suddenly I am in a familiar situation, which is that I am on a familiar road, less than a kilometre from my house, and in a familiar neighbourhood, where I’ve walked many times, and with a familiar feeling of utter dread inside me, for I am lost, utterly lost, and have no idea how to get from here to my house, although I know that it is very near and that it ought to be easy, but somehow it never is, and I’ve been lost so many times and in this situation so many times, that I know that I have to do the familiar thing and just keep going in any direction at all, until I spot some kind of landmark that my body apparently knows, because it seems to know which way to turn, and although I have no map in my head and absolutely no idea at all how ‘here’ joins up to ‘there’ - and never have done and know by now that I never will - so I just have to trust that somehow my body will keep me moving towards home, and of course, sometimes it does do that, but often it does not and then, I find myself even more lost, but this time, thank God, I suddenly see, as though for the very first time, a road that is the one I live on and I check the nameplate and yes, I am home and it’s all ok and this happens so often that I don’t even tell anyone when I get in, for they have lived years with this lostness and no, this is not metaphorical, it is real, and I guess it’s to do with the fact that I can learn a new language in a week and the brain can’t do fucking everything and God gives and God takes away and isn’t everybody some kind of neuro-something anyway?

(This is not, strictly speaking, a run-on micro story, but is something that just happened. Again. Anyway, I’m home and at the laptop - and please be kind to your weird family and friends because honestly, they don’t mean to get on your nerves with all these behaviours).