Why So Sad?

I’ve been feeling kind of sad the last couple of days and can’t be sure why. I shouldn’t be feeling this way since I will have another novel coming out this fall and doing a lot of promotion for it and planning the book tour, which is always exciting to me. So why sad?

Then I figured it must be because I haven’t been working on any of my three works-in-progress lately, even though one seems to be at the forefront. I’ve been doing some research for it, but not writing it. Sometimes when I’m not actually writing, I get antsy. But, no. I don’t think that is it. It’s a sadness that is keeping a tight hold on me.

Then it occurred to me. I’ve been reading Elizabeth Strout’s The Things We Never Say and realized her character, Artie, is stirring those feelings. As it happens, I wasn’t going to be reading this book yet. Instead, I’d pulled Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane from my shelf and was just ready to start reading it since I’d had it for quite a number of years, along with so many of my other books that deserve my attention before anything new! But then I got a text from my daughter saying she’d just bought Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke and The Things We Never Say. When I’d exclaimed that I, too, had recently purchased the Strout book, my daughter said, “I’ll race you!” I took the challenge and put down Keane’s book and began Strout’s, which I just finished today.

According to a text I got from my daughter a couple of days ago, she seemed to be going at the same pace as I was, but wasn’t loving it. I told her I understood those feelings but I wasn’t sure why until it occurred to me today. The novel is filled with lots of memories, more than any future plans. And even though I have plans for my next book, the future is much shorter while the past is filled with memories—some with regret, others wishing I could live again. But it is also a story that brought me into the real world around me with Artie sharing his heartbreak about what’s happening with our country, worried that it will never be the same. It was as though he and I were on the same page, so to speak. Throughout the book, Artie was badgered by the concept of free will, but then toward the end, he asked his wife, “Why don’t people ever say anything real?” It’s a question throughout my life I’ve often asked, but over time realize most people would prefer lighter topics or simply not having the capacity to dig deep. Maybe it’s just too raw for some. I don’t think there could be a more apt title than The Things We Never Say and if it was Strout’s intention of “exploring the human condition” as the book description says, then I would say she’s succeeded. I just wish it didn’t make me feel so sad.